Its tiring being Asian Club Athletic Director..LOL you have to do EVERYTHING..and I'm not much of a volleyball player either. But now, we've been practicing for DAYS straight, my arms are now permanently red and swollen. LOL but yeah other than that no updates =) Mom is 5 months pregnant and its a boy ♥EM

AHAHA WOW. TALK ABOUT NO ONE CARING EH?? I DON'T GET ANY MORE COMMENTS ON HERE. THANKS GUYS. I MISS YOU TOO. LOL AND WHERE ARE ALLLLLL MY LETTERS DEARS? I SENT ALL YOUR WONDERFUL, WELL THOUGHT OUT, HEARTFELT LETTERS, AND I HAVE NOT RECIEVED A SINGLE REPLY LETTER BACK. THANKS. I LOVE YOU ALL TOO.

I use to think that he was a different person inside. That he hid who he really was by being mean and cocky. But I've realized, that it IS him. That is how he is. I gave him so many chances, and he's refused all of them. Maybe I imagined all the things he did to make me think that he does return the feelings. Maybe I read into something too much. I tend to do that you know. I'm sorry that I ever thought you were someone better. Because you're not. You really have no respect nor do you care for anyone else but yourself. I feel sorry for you. Because if you keep this act up, you're going to end up lonely, and I'm going to end up with someone who is really worth all my time and energy. I'm pretty sure you all know who I'm directing that too. Jen, Kay, and Christine all hate the new guy I'm talking to. Maybe they have a reason to. Maybe they are right. This guy reminds me of Vang so much its scary. He says, does, acts in every single way that Vang did. That's a direct sign right there I should walk away before there's another repeat of what happened with Vang. Our past mistakes are only forgiven if we have learned from them. If I continued something with Cheenou, I would be doing exactly what I did with Vang. And I considered everything I did with Vang some of my stupidest mistakes. Its time to end it with Cheenou. ¢¾EM

Hi all...sorry I haven't been updating on here. I hope you guys got my letters...the one who gave me their addresses. Steven..I wrote you one but i need your WHOLE address lol like the zip code too.. school started..my classes are boring but lunch and break are pretty fun. :) hope you all are enjoying sophmore year. ♥EM

Aw..I love you Elizabeth! Thank you for the braclet. She got it customed with my nick "EMO" on it..LOL I love it. And to people out there ready to pounce on me and tell me I'm not "emo" I am not saying I am..I do not label myself anything. Emo was a nickname given to me by MANY different people, and after time it caught on. Kara nicknamed me "EmoEM" since I can be an overly emotional perosn at times, and my cousin Kay nicknamed me "Emo" since my first name started with an E and the first two letters of my last name starts with MO. :D Ok anyways..when I get the USB cord for my digi I'll load up tons of pics on here so you all can see what's going on in my life. ♥EM

"Don't turn into a Ho Emily.." LMAO. I find it funny how people can think so badly about me when I haven't done SHIT to them. Ah..oh well think what you like but I'm not a Ho nor will I ever be. Please understand that I was hurt by someone who I considered very important to me. I needed to get my mind of Him and move on. And the way I do it, is none of your business. Jarvis is wonderful to me. He's amazingly patient and understandable. He is A-M-A-Z-I-N-G and I don't know how I deserve to even be given the chance to talk to this guy. Cheenou is too fuckin' hot to say no to. LOL he's too funny and..hot. lol..I'm not serious about him, he's just a great person to have around when you're bored. So what if he's a bit older? LOL Spyke is just always there...and always trying to convince me to go out to dinner with him. Its nice to feel wanted after you've been rejected. And again...so what if he's a bit older too? lol.. I know you're just concerned..but I know how to take care of myself. I'm capable of making the RIGHT choices, and I know my limites. So, just let me be happy. Ok? ¢¾EM

Ok I need addresses from the following people (PLEASE EMAIL IT TO ORIGINAL_EMS@HOTMAIL.COM): .Andrea (I know you gave it to me, but its in one of my boxes that I haven't unpacked so just make it easier on me hun..lol.) .Kara .Jeff .Nick .Mario .Tabari .Felicia .Steven .Amanda I NEED YOUR ADDRESSES BECAUSE I WROTE YOU ALL LETTERS AND IF YOU WANT THEM, THEN I NEED TO SEND THEM TO YOU! AND PLUSSSS I KNOW SOME OF THE PEOPLE ON THAT LIST DON'T USE SITDIARY SO IF YOU KNOW JEFF, NICK, OR TABARI'S ADDRESSES PLEASE ADD THEM TO YOUR EMAIL TOO.

I swear, Jarvis is the sweetest guy that I have ever met. He's amazing. LOL I got a letter from him on my birthday, and it totally made my day considering my mom pissed me off most of the day. He's such a loser, but I love him. lol (When I say I love him, I'm using it loosely) lol. Last night he called me, and it was so funny because he doesn't really talk on the phone so it was hilarious to see how nervous he was. But yeah, he's a sweetie. Tonight I have to go to Ian's birthday party and get to molest little Elijah. I love that boy to death. I swear..he's so fuckin' adorable I could just kick him. lol. Pictures from Newport Trip: THE END

I haven't heard from him in a week now. Its so weird to realize that we don't talk anymore. I mean...I use to not be able to sleep without talking to him first...and now here I am. Its ok...it'll go away soon. We're going to Newport Beach tomorrow!!!! AHHH lol...can't wait...♥EM

AHAHAHA TOOOO FUNNY. I ALWAYS WANTED MY NAME IN A SONG! "Emily" [Verse 1] It wasn't supposed to be like this Another dose of unhappiness I gave it all and managed to get shot down yet again So I got drunk Had sex with all your friends You told me that i should never call your house again [Chorus] Emily, you saved the day Emily, when you threw me away She was always such a pretty girl Nobody like her in the world A little piece of heavenly That no one else could stand I see you in my dreams at night I see you when I close my eyes I just can't seem to shake Emily [Verse 2] You got your money and I got cast Outside thrown out on my ass In the city with no one else, no where else to go So I hooked up with this model from Singapore Emily, I sure am glad you didn't want me anymore [Chorus] She was always such a pretty girl Nobody like her in the world A little piece of heavenly That no one else could stand I see you in my dreams at night I see you when I close my eyes I just can't seem to shake Emily Yeah Emily, you saved the day Emily, you saved the day Emily, you saved my ass

I'm tired of trying to make it work between me and him. And when I say "make it work" I don't mean a relationship thing, I mean a friendship. I really want us to be friends..I mean after everything..I deserve that at least right? But its ok..because I've found out that I can never count on him..never. People these days...I mean I try not to be bitter, I try not to be mean..I try to trust people..but they always take advantage of that.. and I'm tired of trying. Especially with him. Registration today for Buchanan High. *EDIT//Aww..I was just looking back on old sitD entries...I swear..I feel so bad for the things I've done. LOL for example..Matt. Aww..I miss that kid. He just had to move back to Indiana in the middle of the school year eh? *sighs.* I was so mean to him, but he was always so nice to me. :( I guess I just didn't have that attraction to him that I should have when I'm going out with someone. Hm..but yeah. I swear..I wish I could just repost some of my old entries..LOL. they bring back such good/bad memories. Like the thing with West.OMGOSH lol...I feel so stupid for that. I swear..I look back at it now and reread it and laugh so hard. West...well let's just say he was a good friend..and something could've happened but it didn't.. I think I just needed a guy to mess with and he was there. lOl but in the end it didn' work because he found a new girl. Its ok though lol. I'm alll gooood. Life is never as bad as we think it is. ♥EM

So, Vang is doing a better job of letting me in. He's actually telling me things now, so that makes me feel just that much more special. lol..Its good to know that you're trusted, even if you don't trust the other person back. I don't know why he tells me the things he does, when I don't tell him anything at all. Hmm? Oh well. I just hope that he gets the girl he wants in the end of all this! She seems to have really left an impression on him which is something BIG when you're Vang. lol.... Um other than that, spent the night at Jen's house doing the usual. Chat on the net, eat, chat, watch TV, chat..you get the point. LOL I love writing long entries. LOL I don't know why. Maybe one day soon I actually have something important to write about. My birthday is in TEN days ♥EM

I love this page too much to leave. lol ilovenerds just wasn't as great. but uh, yeah sooo update everyone: We've pretty much settled in now. Right now, we're buying land to build our house on, so it'll still not feel exactly like home yet until we finish up the house, but that won't be for another year, so for now we're staying at an apartment. I'm having tons of fun down here, actually getting to go out and do things. This weekend my family and I are going to the Santa Cruz boardwalk, and then when we return its just us girls going out. Jen, Kay, Xtine, Aunt B, and I are going to NEWPORT BEACH and FASHION ISLAND!! WOOO, no parents, no rules, just us and the beach, and the stores. LOL. As for me and boys, Vang and I are strictly friends now, and I'm ok because his appeal is gone. He's still that cocky boy that I loved but hmm..I don't know. Time does things to you. Its sad when I realize that I have no real feelings for him anymore because he was the guy that had my attention for the longest time. Hmm..well plenty of boys in the world. ;) Hope all of you are having wonderful vacation times! I miss and love you all. ♥EM

STARTING FRESH AT ILOVENERDS. CHECK ME OUT :) ♥EM

I hate him. I hate what he does to me. I hate how everytime I bring my hopes up about him, he always does something to bring them back down. And then when I give up on him, he does something to make me go "aww". I hate him. I called earlier to see if we were still going to the lakefront, and he was still sleeping, so his brother said that he'll have him call me back. And he just called me back like a minute ago, and here was the conversation we had: [me] hello? [him] hi bitch [me] hi whore [him] what do you want? [me] are we still going to the lakefront? [him] yeah, later tonight though I have to wait until I can get the car [me] how about yong? [him] I don't know, we'll see if he's home but if he's not I'll pick you up. [me] *JOKING* But I don't want to die tonight in a car [him] fine, it'll just be me and yong ok? bye [me] *SILENT* Are you serious? [him] what? [me] fine... [him] I'll call you before we come [me] ok bye... I HATE HOW HE DOES THIS TO ME. HOW HE CAN AFFECT MY EMOTIONS ENOUGH FOR ME TO WRITE A WHOLE ENTRY ON HIM, HOW I HAVE TO COMPLAIN TO ELIZABETH ABOUT HIM. HOW I KNOW THAT HE CAN NEVER BE WHAT I WANT HIM TO BE, BUT I STILL GIVE HIM HOPE. we could be perfect..you know? he can be everything that i want..but he has this side of him that hurts me more than anything...and i know that i need to let go when it starts to hurt too much..but i'm naive, and i'm young, and i somehow have that innocence of hope that every little 5 year old has..why? i know i'm so much more smarter than this. why am i being so stupid?

*sighs* I don't know. I guess I'm scared to let go of the memories I made here. But I need time off. And no, I'm not doing this just to leave you all, I'm doing this because I need to. I need to fix things in my life, and I need to fix myself. I'll still come on here occasionally to check up on everyone and offer my two-cence but I probably won't be updating. Maybe when I come back I'll start fresh. Til then, bye all. ♥EM

EVERYTHING WAS PERFECT. WE HAD EVER DETAIL DONE. THE MOVE TO CALI WAS SUPPOSE TO BE GREAT. AND THEN, EVERYTHING STARTED TO FALL DOWNHILL. FIRST, MY DAD DECIDED HE DIDN'T WANT TO GO THROUGH WITH THE PURCHASING OF THE HOUSE. HE TRIED TO GET ME TO SEE THAT HE WAS RIGHT, BUT NO. I WON'T EVER AGREE. MY MOM IS TOTALLY PMSING AND SAYING THAT I'M NOT GETTING MY ADORABLE PUPPY. FRIENDS ARE FLAKING OUT ON ME. I'M JUST LOSING IT. I FEEL THE NEED TO BREAK DOWN, BUT I CAN'T. EVER SINCE THEN, I'VE CONVINCED MYSELF THAT I'M STRONGER THAN THAT. BUT WHEN EVERYTHING GOES WRONG, AND YOU REALIZE WHAT YOU'RE LOSING, IT SEEMS LIKE I'VE JUST HUMILIATED MYSELF AND I'M STANDING HERE ALONE. AND PEOPLE ARE STARTING TO REALIZE, THAT THE IMAGE I PUT UP, ISN'T REALLY ME. I NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE. ♥EM

I never understood why I wasn't good enough for you. At times I just gave up on it, believing that maybe one day you'd change, that maybe I was ok to be called your daughter. You don't understand all the second chances I've given you, all the times you've said things to me just to fill your damn ego. All those words, I remember them. All those words you called me, I still remember them. I still don't understand why you hate me so much. How you can call me a useless bitch and live with yourself. For years, I've put up with it, I'd listen to it. For years, I believed you. I believed I was a useless bitch. And then I grew up. Does that piss you off? Does it make you mad that I can now say shit back? I hope it does. Because, Mom, trust me, I don't care anymore. You can buy me all the things in the world, and I'll never forget what you did, what you said. I'll never forget that day when you screamed in my face asking me if I wanted to test your temper. Or the day you pulled a knife up to me. That was the day I didn't consider you my mom anymore. Sure, I'll call you 'mom' but there's no meaning behind it. At times, I can hate you so much. You don't understand what I had to go through. How I had to learn how to cover up my feelings, how I had to smile and always be the happy kid when I was around people. And I know you knew that at night I would cry because I knew you didn't care. But those nights of crying are over Mom. I've learned how to cast you out. Your words, you can never take them back, and I'll never forget them. And now, its time I get my satisfaction of hurting you with MY words. I honestly don't care. Because everytime I begin to feel bad, I remember what you did to me. "And when you turn 18 you're leaving my house and don't bother to come and visit." Hah, don't worry Mother. I won't even look back. ♥EM

DESCRIBE YOUR [ x ] Hairbrush? brown [ x ] Toothbrush? pink [ x ] Jewelry worn daily? watch [ x ] Pillow cover? burgandy [ x ] Blanket? burgandy [ x ] Coffee cup? um..i don't drink coffee..ll [ x ] Sunglasses? brown, and big [ x ] Shoes? a lot [ x ] Handbag? a lot [ x ] Favorite shirt? "Everybody Loves An Asian Girl" [ x ] Cologne/Perfume? Lilu from PacSun [ x ] What you are wearing now? My shirt mentioned above with capris and black flip flops [ x ] Hair? up in a pony tail [ x ] Makeup? eyeliner WHO or WHAT (was/is/are) [ x ] In my mouth? my tounge..lol [ x ] In my head? spanish words for tomorrow's exams "Como te Llamas?" [ x ] Wishing? I had a life [ x ] Talking to? Xtine [ x ] Eating? nothing [ x ] Person you wish you could see right now? ELIZABETH or jude law..lol [ x ] Is next to you? the little ghost girl [ x ] Something you're looking forward to in the upcoming months? CALIFORNIAAAA [ x ] The last thing you ate? *tastes mouth..* i don't know. Name four scents you love: [ x ] The smell after it rains [ x ] my perfume [ x ] cool water cologne (??) [ x ] my laundry after it comes out of the dryer :) Name four television shows/movies you love: [ x ] ONE TREE HILL [ x ] The Notebook [ x ] A Walk to Remember [ x ] Friends Name four drinks you regularly drink: [ x ] Brisk Lemon Ice Tea [ x ] Rasberry Ice Tea [ x ] Dr Pepper [ x ] Carmel Frappacino EVER.... [ x ] Fallen for your Best Friend? No [ x ] Been rejected? No..I don't think so..lol [ x ] Been in love? NOPE [ x ] Used someone? yes..many people..lol [ x ] Been used? for school YES LAST THING/PERSON... [ x ] You touched? the keyboard [ x ] You talked to? Elizabeth [ x ] You hugged? Elizabeth [ x ] You instant messaged? Xtine [ x ] You laughed with? Xtine [ x ] You kissed? Andrew [ x ] You had a crush on? I don't know how to spell his name..lol some long ass asian name DO YOU... [ x ] Color your hair? yes [ x ] Have tattoos? no [ x ] Piercing? no [ x ] Own a web cam? no [ x ] Have aol? no [ x ] What are you listening to? andrew singing [ x ] Chicken or fish? chicken [ x ] Do you have a favorite animal? puppy RANDOM [ x ] Single flower or a dozen? dozen babyyy gotta impress me. lol [ x ] Silver, gold or platinum? silver [ x ] Candle lit dinner in a restaurant or at home? home [ x ] Roses or wild flowers? roses [ x ] Silly or serious romance? mix [ x ] Do you consider yourself romantic? nope [ x ] Shy? can be [ x ] The Lovey Dovey type? nope [ x ] What have you done TODAY? took exams TODAY: [ x ] Laughed? yes [ x ] Dissected something? no [ x ] Drank alcohol? no [ x ] Cut your hair? no [ x ] Kissed someone? no [ x ] Missed someone? yes [ x ] Told someone you love them? yes [ x ] Met someone new? no [ x ] Favorite fast food? burger king [ x ] Favorite book? The Notebook [ x ] Favorite song? Scars by Papa Roach [ x ] What room is your computer in? Basement [ x ] What is your shoe size? 5-6 [ x ] What will you be when you grow up? Not sure [ x ] What are you doing right now? typing and listening to Andrew make sound effects

I honestly don't know where I'd be without her. She's the one person who I can be..ME around. She's that person that understands my stupid little jokes and the only person who I'm comfortable enough with to let my guard down. I'm seriously going to miss her. When I think about leaving WI I'm thrilled, excited, and overcomed with happiness, but then I realize I'm leaving Elizabeth too. And I sink back into my sad little self. Its sad really, I always somehow knew that it was going to happen, I guess I just hoped it wouldn't. I've drifted from my middle school friends. And its my fault. Its not that I DON'T care, its that I assume they don't. Yeah, we say our little "I miss you..how have you been?" But when you dig deep down into, do you really mean it? They were like my second family. I went to them to get away from the stresses of home. And they somehow knew how to cure it all. I miss my relationship with them, and I see them all moving on with their lives, making new friends, and making new memories. And here I am, stuck. Not going anywhere, not doing anything. And trust me, I don't blame anyone for it. I know its my choices that land me here, but I see it as Wisconsin that is holding me back. I want to hold onto these memories for dear life. I never want to let go because I'm scared I'm going to lose them, I'm going to lose you guys. And it seems like I'm already starting to slip...♥EM