I want: +him +freedom +good friends +funny memories again I need: +to pay more attention to the guy I have +to respect the freedom I do have +to break off bonds that won't work +remember and cherish the ones I already have Once again no one picks up the phone. I swear that boy is avoiding me. I don't want to believe it but apart of me is already like "God Emily give it up!" and I guess I do need to give it up. He isn't worth all this shit. I don't know why I do this to myself over and over again..I promise myself I'm never gonna call him again..and then the next day I call. I'm so..insecure? Is that the word? Zong says that I just need alot of attention..and maybe he is right..maybe I just want too much from people and when I don't get it something's always wrong. I hate that about myself. I hate how I can pick out ten flaws about myself in a second. And then always have a voice in my head naming off 20 more. Its sucks to have to confidence and have no one there to tell you you're wrong..or have no one there to tell you the good points about yourself. Why do I even bother trying to work things out with him? I need to focus more of my time and attention on Matt not on Vang.