I hate him. I hate what he does to me. I hate how everytime I bring my hopes up about him, he always does something to bring them back down. And then when I give up on him, he does something to make me go "aww". I hate him. I called earlier to see if we were still going to the lakefront, and he was still sleeping, so his brother said that he'll have him call me back. And he just called me back like a minute ago, and here was the conversation we had: [me] hello? [him] hi bitch [me] hi whore [him] what do you want? [me] are we still going to the lakefront? [him] yeah, later tonight though I have to wait until I can get the car [me] how about yong? [him] I don't know, we'll see if he's home but if he's not I'll pick you up. [me] *JOKING* But I don't want to die tonight in a car [him] fine, it'll just be me and yong ok? bye [me] *SILENT* Are you serious? [him] what? [me] fine... [him] I'll call you before we come [me] ok bye... I HATE HOW HE DOES THIS TO ME. HOW HE CAN AFFECT MY EMOTIONS ENOUGH FOR ME TO WRITE A WHOLE ENTRY ON HIM, HOW I HAVE TO COMPLAIN TO ELIZABETH ABOUT HIM. HOW I KNOW THAT HE CAN NEVER BE WHAT I WANT HIM TO BE, BUT I STILL GIVE HIM HOPE. we could be perfect..you know? he can be everything that i want..but he has this side of him that hurts me more than anything...and i know that i need to let go when it starts to hurt too much..but i'm naive, and i'm young, and i somehow have that innocence of hope that every little 5 year old has..why? i know i'm so much more smarter than this. why am i being so stupid?