So, Felicia got me thinking...LOL she got me thinking REAL hard. Felicia..if you're reading this..you INSPIRED me to finally write this out. I know we were never an official couple. I KNOW THIS. I know we never commited ourselves to each other. I know we never did what REAL couples did. But, those whole TWO MONTHS where we spent EVERY DAMN DAY on the phone for 2 DAMN HOURS meant everything to me. I wouldn't give up those times...those hours..for anything. I miss how you could argue with me without giving up on your opinion but how you would stop in the middle of it if you felt that I was seriously mad. I miss how you told me your deepest desires and dreams. I loved the fact that I could sit there with you and read my girly magazines to you, and you would seriously listen, or how you would actually take all those silly quizes they always have, even if it was only meant for girls. I miss how your confidence..your COCKINESS..would sicken me, and you would just get even more cocky. I love the fact that you weren't afraid to tell me that you care about how you dress and that you'll tell me if a certain guy that I was interested in wasn't as good looking as you. I miss how I knew you wanted me as much as I wanted you. I miss how you would surprise me by coming to Hamilton's homecoming football game when you could've gone to your's. I miss how you some how knew when I began to question if you cared anymore. I miss..you. But I think both our pride and stubborness ended our relationship. I waited for you. FOR SO DAMN LONG. I still wait for you.. But I know its too late now. But, believe it or not, I would take you back if you came in to my life again. That's what I'm ashamed of. BUT DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT REALLY HURTS? It hurts to know that you're probabyly doing the same thing to another girl right now. That what happened between us meant everything to me and NOTHING TO YOU. That it was just a game. How I BROKE DOWN MY OWN DAMN WALLS FOR YOU. The walls that always sent every guy running away. doesn't it mean anything to you..? Doesn't it mean anything to you that I would do that to myself for you? And the more I think about that, the more I see the truth of it all. The more I see my stupidity. I will admit that what we had was probably the most important to me than any other guy I've ever had. Its sad really..when you really were never "my" guy. If you ever were to read this. You'd probably take it seriously for a minute, then laugh. I know you. It'd feed your neediness to know that you can affect girls like this. It'd boost your confidence. And knowing that, is the reason why I never said anything. Its the reason why I never let anyone know the WHOLE thing. So I just wanted to let you know. Yes, I miss you. I miss our memories. But that's all that it is to me now..memories. And, like I always do and I always will do, I've moved on from it. I've rebuilt my walls. I've rethought my motives. I've changed from that girl you once knew. I don't know if you'd even recognize me anymore. I'm not sure if I want you to. I feel in a sense, that I'm leaving Milwaukee to get away from you. So that when I'm at the mall, I won't even get my hopes up of running into you. Honestly? You're face has been slowly fading away from me. So maybe you will recognize me, but I don't think I'll recognize you.