I’ve had enough, I’ve seen one to many protein bars, slim fasts, fat burning pills, caffeinated beverages, and weight gain buckets for me to take this silently anymore. I’m sick and tired of this unhealthy obsession over personal health. I don’t know how it started but, I suspect it came from some capitalistic yank that saw he could make millions by making up some garbage about what’s healthy eating. Then of course the fat, lazy, and narrow minds of today took his word of it and started to buy into to this untapped market fueling more biased research and the production of tapered food. We’ll I won’t stand for it anymore! STOP FUCKING WITH MY FOOD!! Let’s started with these reduced sized packaging. This pisses me off on three different levels. Primarily, I’m forced to buy half a portion of chips because fats slobs can’t control their eating habits. This is beyond injustice. I’m suffering starvation and leaving my chip craving un-sated so we can save a few thousand hearts from giving out trying to supply the surplus of body tissue on these human whales. What ever happened to passive eugenics? Whatever happened to it, I’m sure it’s where all my extra money is going. This being my secondary issue with reduced package sizes. I’m paying the same! Where is the logic in that? There isn’t any. The corporations saw this as an opportune moment to stick their penis just a few more inches into the customers’ ass. When will I stop being punished for the decisions, or lack there of, of the weak? Oh man, this makes me fume. All of this, as I stated earlier, is a result of weak minds. This is just another check mark to add to the growing list of reasons why I hate the general population. Is it really that hard to not eat? When did the idea of walking become obsolete? Questions I’d desperately like answered. So far, the only solution to people’s lack of self-control is to reduce package size…or to start taking things out of the food. There’s just no end to the imagination of corporate executives. Not only are they going to reduce the size of the portion, they’re going to start taking shit out of our food. This seems to be an expensive process because less everything some how translated into a larger numerical value on the price tag. It’s not just packaged foods, but meat as well. I’m proud that I get to live in a generation of lean cut chicken breasts and bacon with 50% less salt and fat. Multiples of 25 seem to be a popular number for reducing things. I guess nature came conveniently ready to be reduced in quarters. However, because of the reduced everything in our foods, they had to artificially pump the product with extras; extra preservatives, vitamins, minerals, omega-3, calcium, beta-blockers, carotene, carcinogens, and the ever popular aspartame. They just finished stripping my food of any value and now they have the audacity to pump it up with shit I can’t absorb because all the macro-carriers have been removed. Where does the insanity end? Oh right! It ends with me again losing more money, because now they just added stuff to my food. I thank you heartless corporation for allowing me to spend my idle money on frivolous things like groceries. If it weren’t for you, I might just have enough money to blow it off on real wastes of money; weight gain mix, power drinks, protein bars and slim fast drinks. Before I go ranting about the actual products, can someone tell me how these health stores can morally sell products to make you gain weight and lose it, all on the same shelf? I was almost knocked off my feet from the hypocritical chop buster in front of me. But I digress, more about the off the shelf “health” products that continue to make my blood boil. First with these fucking power or energy drinks, like people today need to be hydrated with electrolytes for their hyper-active schedule of driving to work and sitting down for 8-10 hours. Intense shit! I can see why you need this scientifically modified salt water. Why not save yourself the extra $2.50 and buy yourself some water? You think those poor Kenya super runners had Gatorade? Fuck no! They drank water and they still out performed us. As for these energy drinks, well I think it’s just another excuse to abuse a drug and consume more needless calories in the form of pure glucose. But I guess all those steroid-bloated, protein fiends need something to push themselves to the brink of a heart explosion. You know those guys, (specifically guys because all the women that follow this routine loose everything that’s defined them as a woman) they drink more weight gain powders than an alcoholic could feasibly drink alcohol without succumbing to alcohol poisoning; coincidently they both are doing incredible damage to their liver. Fuck, can you imagine the kind of meals they eat? The main course is steak seasoned with exported creatine concentrate, with a delectable side of bacon strips, to drink a delicate anabolic steroid protein mix with pureed sheep intestine. Yum! I can just picture the look on the coroners face after the autopsy. In contrast, we also have a marvelous pill that miraculously makes us loose weight. Something tells me there’s has to be serious repercussions fucking around with your metabolism. I don’t know, it may just be me. So thanks to clever marketing, I’m paying 200% more for 75% less substance than I normally would have from unhampered foods. I’m not naturally an angry or cynical person; I don’t even wake up this way every morning. All my high blood pressure develops throughout the day effortlessly as the world shows me yet another aspect we could do without. I can at least take solace that the population’s average health is starting to decline; maybe it’ll catch up to our national IQ. Oh yeah, STOP FUCKING WITH MY FOOD!