hahahah fuck relationships. always hurt in the end why bother?

Looking back, no regrets, just lies. Only pain in descriptions of despite. This will never be, you will never listen. Emotions break like glass when memories brush back. This will never be, breaking from this cycle, falls from the outside. I can't sleep with your dreams. I can sleep with my dreams. Looking back, no regrets, just lies. Only pain in descriptions of despite. While you're awake with nightmares of haunting. Did you forget something? You forgot to say "goodbye".

today, for the first time in two weeks, i saw my boyfriend. today, i was the happiest girl alive. hearts are always getting broken. we can do better than that. i know we can. ♥ ♥

i get to see him next week. he is over 200 miles away, and i can't do anythingg about it. =[ fuck distance.

i hate the fact that i can care so much about one person, but that person i care about might not care one bit about me. i hate how i have no idea what's going on in that person's mind. and i hate how he doesn't know anything going on in mine. letting a person take hold of your feelings and trusting them with your heart is a MISTAKE. that person could break your heart just a little, or break your heart into a million pieces. either by hurting you with words or actions, or not doing ANYTHING at all. jealousy can overwhelm you when you don't know what he is doing for the night. jealousy is for the weak, and i am so damn weak right now.

well, what i meant by that was "i love you."

you took everything from me. bastard.

feeling the weight of your body against mine has it's realizations. i could be stuck here forever, but would i really care? tell me your thoughts on life, love, death. am i in your vision when those perspectives come to mind? or is there someone else, perhaps no one. do you love the smell of rain as much as i do? does it trigger your senses as once euphoric? does it tell you there's no turning back, you belong together, like the ocean and the waves. i hung up too quickly, the words i wanted to say are on the tip of my tongue. does your idea of forever include us? we know we'll die as beautiful as ever, together. we are not scared of death. our adventure in life, love, death has just begun. do you love the smell of rain as much as i do? does it illuminate your senses as once knowing? does it tell you what's in store for life? you belong together, like the moon and the stars. you don't understand what this could do. you're breaking every heart she has. she'll still love you just as much, but will you know when to stop this addictive game? she's depending on every day. do you love the smell of rain as much as i do?

6 months with him ♥ And by the way you brought me here, it makes me believe the best is still yet to come and I don't want to leave. Forgive my hesitation but I'm learning to trust in you. Help me to dream these dreams because I don't have a clue. And if you'd be honest and say what you mean you know I would promise I'd do anything because I know that without you I'm giving it away. Is this what you wanted? 'Cause I'm willing to change. Now that I'm certain, that there's much more to gain. You've introduced me to the moment oh but I'm looking to stay for good. You asked me to stay forever. Well, you know that I would, I would do anything. And if you'd be honest and say what you mean you know I would promise I'd do anything 'Cause I know that without you I'm giving it away. The nights are forever and maybe I'm wrong, but it feels like I'm so lost without you. So I step towards the heat, it's the way I can see, and it makes me believe that it's you. And by the way you brought me here it makes me believe the best is still yet to come and I don't want to leave, I won't, but anyway... If you'd be honest and say what you mean you know I would promise I'd do anything And the nights are forever, I can't get to sleep 'Cause I know there's a reason I'm in this too deep And I'm sure that without you, I'm giving it away, yeah. I'm giving it away...

all i wanted is to know i'm safe don't wanna lose the love i've found If I ever thought I could stay mad at him, I must be crazy. The love of my life... the whole of my heart... my everything. Something this ridiculous cannot ruin what we have. If you think you have to hang out with your friends just to make them happy, that's not right. Do what you want to do. They will try to come between us, but they will never succeed. Our future is so bright, it's almost blinding. P.S. I love you.

i'm with a boy, who makes me happy. most of the time =] I L H ♥ our song is fucking cute... Poison the Well - Nerdy Why do your eyes paralyze me? What makes me feel this way? Just carry me away with silence, and Heartbeats as rapid. Thinking about your embrace And how it makes me feel. I just want to feel this way forever. Sleep on portraits painted as perfect as you. Why have I been given the chance to fly? When I'm not with you I feel lesser alone. Why have I been given the chance to fly away? I remember your face imprinted on angels. Your voice as beautiful as the sound of waves, Crashing against my heart. Time slows down when you look at me. I'm infatuated with this, Infatuated with you. I remember your face imprinted on angels. It's so hard for me to understand. Why I hadn't found you before. Don't dull away, Hold my hand.

lately i've been feeling... i don't even know what i'm feeling. my body is never as alive as it used to be. and neither is my mind... i'm always hoping that things will get better, but i never try to make them better. when the hell is something interesting gonna happen?? my bestfriend tiffaney, who i love to death, might be moving away for a long while & i don't know what i would do without her. she was the onlyy reason i didn't move back to santa maria. with her gone, i'll have nothing. but if it's what she wants... i can't stop her. i just hope she knows i do love her, i'm just trying to figure out what's wrong with me lately. i've said muchhh to much. and i should stop, but i have so much to say, and let off my chest. lately, the simplest emotional things on tv make me want to cry. and i haven't done that in god knows how long. i'm so goddamn sick of boys. it's like i'm just a fucking hook-up to them, and that's it. i'm not just a piece of ass, i have feelings too. there's a boy who i adore right now... but i don't know what's going to happen with him. i would love to be with him, he's a sweetheart... ♥ i'm so insecure and self-conscious, that i don't let my personality come out. so that is all everyone sees. i'm better than that, i know i am. editXcore: i'm going to be with this boy =] and we're gonna have the best relationship ever. no doubt about it ♥ ♥

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over, but expecting different results. If that's true, I'm the QUEEN of insanity.

!!! I HOPE I CAN GO

Holding my breath, Walking at night with you. I get to hear your voice again. If this a dream, Maybe you'll stay with me. Stay with me, please, Stay with me. ♥ K so I'm gonna be way emo right now. And I don't really give a fuck. I'm usually tough and can take this shit. But when a boy you are superrr in love with... makes you feel wonderful again like before, then leaves back to his girlfriend who HE loves... kindof makes you wanna fucking shed a tear. LATELY, I'VE BEEN A FUCKING MESS. & IT'S ALL MY FAULT. editXcore: It's about time I cried for once. I fucking love you, I hope you understand that I would do anything for you. I'd burn alive to keep you warm. I'd burn the city down just to show you the light. I'd trade in forever just to hear you say the sound of my name. I'd give you my heart again, but you've had it all along. ♥ ♥ ♥

i guess when i said once, "if you ever left me, i could never love the same way again," i wasn't lying. i want to find a boy, a boy who will appreciate everything about me and everything i do. a boy i can trust, a boy who loves me with good intentions. a boy who wants me to be his girl. is that so hard to ask? i already found that boy... but he already has a girl. P.S. tomorrow is going to be amazing. skyy is coming to visit, and we're going to have the best time ever. it's been almost a year =O ♥ forever, your eyes will hold the memory ♥

this weekend was quite possibly the weirdest one yet... & it all started when tiffaney and i got shit on by a seagull. hahahah friday night... we got weird phone calls from random guys we barely knew. saturday night... i kissed a boy who maybe i shouldn't have. then today was acually quite wonderful but random at the same time. well anyways goodnight. oh, one last thing. YEAH.

i'm just about the saddest person alive right now. i'm pretty much losing all hope & faith in everything... someone save me.

Soo friday we have skool off! Tomorrow night Tiffaney &I are going to see Saw 2... it will be a grand time. And if I get to go to Bakersfield with her &Carrick to see Agony Scene on friday night, this weekend will blow me away. I hope the moms say it's okay. If not, I can always go to the Warriors show! Also saturday night I'm going with Mel to see the skool play; the Breakfast Club. hahah that will be way rad! Yep, my weekend is going to rock so hard... ily ♥

we don't live to last forever. we feel no second chance. "he's way out of your league" i have to stop telling myself that... so there's this boyy &&he's possibly the cutest/sweetest boy ever. we're hanging out soon &&i can't wait!. it is going to be quite wonderful. i'm succhh a geek. ♥ ♥ ♥!