Listening to: john mayer
Feeling: alone
it's quite sad &pathetic when i don't even know what's keeping me sane anymore. i think it could be self-control.. but i fear that will fade away also. something's missing big time &i don't know what it is at all. skool isn't too far away &that scares me. i'm a big failure when it comes to skool. come to think of it, i'm a failure in everything. wow, i really suck at life.
lately i've been wanting a certain someone that i know i can never have. i get jealous of other girls &i'm not with him, so i have no control over anything. eventhough we have.. nevermind. it really hurts when you can't have someone just because of the distance. third time i am in this specific dilemma. i've been so sad eversince i drove back to ventura.
i just wish i felt like i have something to look forward to. &&i wish everything was fine. but i guess you cant get everything you want. but why can't i just get the things i want that really matter to me?
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