its weird... im cursed with the fact that i care about old boyfriends and friends ... even friends im not friends with anymore... yea i know its crazy but i cant help it this has happend soo many times before... and everytime I would tell myself it was over and id say this wont happen again ... but it always did... and this time im actully beliveing myself when i say its over and that it wont happen again and that i wont let you get me all pissed off again ... ight well yea its ober and im really happy nd all but i guess its just the fact that its ... "over" .. watever that means and i can finally move on after everything its crazy... how did we ever get that way?? ... no clue but this doesnt hurt anymore ... the happiest days of my life are now and now is wat im trying to make the best... and it would either be ... with .. or ... without you... and without is wat happend and im not going to let that fact bother me. No more giving in ... last summer i remember this perfectly... at lilys house with gordon nd kat and i remember telling kat never to let me go out with you again since erlier that day we broke up and then later that night u asked me out again ... when i was thinking i should have said no ... when kat reminded me that i had told her not to let me ... but of course i began to fall weakly and let my heart sink again ... with one word that wouldnt end it ... "YES" i still think i should have said no ... it would have saved alot of pain and tears and even a broken heart... that might not ever be fixed. And im to shitty to tell you this to your face ... thats why im writing it in here ... but its true... its weird thinking ... if you had done one thing differnt ... what night be better wat could u have fixed it you have chosen a differnt path... what you could have saved by saying NO instead of YES... what would be differnt if ur friends didnt go to camp... but im done living my life thinking what i could fix and what would be differnt if i could change the past... ..... nnnnooo mmmooorreee ..... love you all!!!! peace sammie--- oh its as if u know me better than i ever knew myself i love how u can tell all the pieaces... pieces of me... fall somtimes i fall so fast... when i hit that bottem flat... your all i have...... sryy i love ashlee simpson = my idol... haha yea right!!