yup, as the title says...but not at the same time i forgot to say here that i came out to my parents about a month ago. My mum too it well, but my dad......not really anyways, heres my story of yesterday (sat) soooooooooooooooooooooooooo woke up this morning and felt fine, 10 mins later, not so fine so i'm standing in the loo and think i'm gunna be sick (rare for me) so i grab the closest thing i can...which happens to be a big shiny glass bowl. and you know when you get a headrush and you see like lil black dots? it was that. Everywhere, so i couldn't see shizzle all. so, next thing i know i hear the glass bowl smash without knowing i'd let go of it, say "oh crap" and then...wake up. wedged between the wall and the toilet. yuuuuummy. and (impressive part here) i broke the toilet seat clean in two, now thats a solid head! so i was surrounded by glass which i'd landed in but even when i put all my weight on my hands to get up, i couldnt feel it. so i finally got up and had lovely blood everywhere...sexaay so off i go, whisked to the hospital, got tested for diabetes the nurse seemed a little disappointed when it tested negative. got a doctor who did NOT seem convinced when i said i hadn't been drinking lol. and when they got all the blood out of my hair aparrently it turned bright pink, i wish it had stayed like that! so they glued me back up, coz the cut wasn't really worth having just 2 stitches. sooo i'm home, feeling nice and dappy but sharp, i've got a lovely cut on my head and leg, and i've reaaaaally hurt my coxic (last vertebra thingy...see i know my stuff) so when i stand up or sit down it's followed by an "ow" and what was the first thing i said when i got up off the floor.... "oh fuck" fucking typical!!!!! and whats gross? i'm not allowed to wash my hair for 5 days...

right dudes im orf on hols with mon amigos and lover (the very special emma). should be interesting, i just hope i dont embarrass myself or annoy them lol things at home, not so good but hey, i get a week away, i dont really care who with, i'm away so all is good xx keep me posted buuuuuuddies

wow...well its been a long time i'm guessing everyone has forgotten about me or given up meh, no worries, cant blame them, i have been away forever... well ok, 3/4 months? how is everyone/anyone who stumbles across this? i havent been drinking much at all recently, and i havent gotten properly druuunk for a long time, so this alcohol is going straight to me lol. next week will be an intensley boring week, coz most of my friends are away...but come next sat, ill be away with my friends. and Emma. WOOP this is going to be some drunken fun. actually no, you havent met us, it doesnt really make a difference if youre drunk or not with us (but it does help) well thats all... updates? liv xx

illogical paranoia yay what fun i'm bored i havent been on here in ages talk to me tell all hows ur life whats been up etc etc liv xx

severe self harm withdrawals almost 3 months clean i think, i cant remember the last time i did but fuuuuuuuuuuuck

everyone give a warm and loving Happy Birthday to emma liv xx ps ive got a fooking migrane...woop

forgot to say i saw foo fighters....they were amazing, that man knows how to scream! but my friend was being a Cunt (and i dont use the word lightly) so she kinda severly pissed me off all the way through, plus she refused to try and get into the moshpit, coz we had seats at the back, so old dave grohl was a weeny dot lol. theres nothing better than a good old fashioned moshpit, CAN I GET AN AMEN? 2nd thing... my new years is to get drunk less....when i say drunk i mean like "what the fuck??" drunk, tipsy n quite drunk still gooooooood liv over n out... again...

ok so i havent dont anything in a while... i dunno what to say atm am so fucking tired you all have a good new years n xmas? i get more excited about new years eve than i do about xmas, maybe its because im leaving the year behind, like starting a new leaf or whatever. uuuuuuuuum ok my last 2 weeks monday 19th..."party" in a club, only 28 people...was shite! but here started the Week Of Emma, saw her we got our presents from our friends today which everyone had decided to get us "couples gifts". but cool ones like choc body paint, n handcuffs n love dice (put well to use) n shit like that lol. but the best was from the other gay couple were friends with, they got us choc fondu set for 2.....WOOP tuesday 20th...another party, whole of my old school went so i got to see my friends again , emma stayed the night (weyhey) lots of fun all night n then in the morning wed 21st...me n emma some more (getting tired of hearing it?)then we went round to fabs n helped her set up the party at her house... party TREZ fun, plus vodka jelly shots made with pure vodka yuuuuuum, we stayed the night along with other people. next morning i said i needed the loo (genuinley did) so she came with me n just sat ontop of me n started getting into things (people kinda wondered where we were for about 45 mins) and my god she came so hard she was actually shaking for about an hour after. was Great thurs 22nd...my grandad came to stay, in the eve went to my friends party, was kinda lame n had only had 7 hours sleep in 4 days so was kinda about to hallucionate but hey. then xmas shit n family shit, like my mum saying she didnt want to see me again etc etc yup yup boring stuff and then some uum last night (new years eve) i told my parents i was having a few people over but only emma came over, so they FINALLY left n we actually had a great time we watched kill bill 2 n charlie n the chocolate factory, drank, etc etc n then finally went upstairs n yeah. i was really hoping i lost my girl virginity that night but no worries i loved last night either way but things at home have been pretty fucking stressful, ive really wanted to just pick up the fucking razor again but i cant. meh how goes all? liv xx

my foreplay is my wordplay life if good so far (my mums away but gets back today so who knows) but im confused so i have emma (and yay) but thing is my 2 lesbian friends...one of em said that they USED to have a teeny crush on me, nothing big but they have been together for 4 years so she had to come clean. so that caused some tention n shit n crying with them. so yday i was at my friends house with them n some others... the couple n me had a convo about that n i feel bad but i feel worse coz the girl whose house it is also fancied emma so its like i stabbed my friend in the back...were still getting over it (if that makes sense) ooh yay i experienced my 1st homophobic prejudice yday too...my friend told her mum i was bi n she said i wasnt allowed in her house anymore oh well ive gotta say i dont really care, i mean a lil bit bummed she would say that when she knows me n all but fuck it lol so yeah im confused i also wanna self harm n dunno why so i think ill hold back till i have a reason liv xx

i dont know what to say for words no sex...just all that comes before for 4 hours man im tired she kissed me and whispered in my ear as i felt her soft skin poetry flew through my mind it was like an out of body experience i made her orgasm by barly touching her i love her i've found my muse

ok without sounding pervy does anyone have any tips on how to give oral sex to a girl? if u wanna post anonimously then ok n if not ill delete ur post later....unless u want it kept there lol come on people! liv xx

ok so yday i FINALLY got with emma, she was my 1st girl kiss and i was her first kiss (lame i know but good...SO good) turns out shes been in love with me for a year and a half, i dont get why she never told me before that was fucking fun making out surrounded by drunk people and being told by my gothic lesbian couple friends that were cute as hell...and that it would make em cry yay for lesbian goths so that was fun and horny liv xx

right so yday i wrote a story about a woman whose husband dies so she turns to heroin... i dint know why she did it. maybe thats how im feeling at the moment. maybe its like an ode to courtney love i might post it up here later on, who knows its prob utter shite now anyways liv xx

ive tried smoking ive tried drinking ive tried not trying ive tried caring ive tried not caring ive tried laughing ive tried being sullen ive tried talking ive tried not talking at all ive tried pretending ive tried faking it ive tried empathy ive tried self-apathy ive tried self harm ive tried cold turkey ive tried dissociatiom ive tried being straight ive tried being bi ive tried too much but i guess all that will work is if i try to die, hey?

la la la i fucking hate apathetic friends so me n steph are supposed to be organising a proper party (yay drunkness) so therefore were SUPPOSED to be organising this together but it turns out that im doing it all...i ask her to do one simple thing which is to ask who can come n she gets all weird and self absorbed like im asking her to kiss her mum or something so im doing all this for her and im not getting any thinks just bitching about how its not right ebough the club is being as ambiguous as humanly possible and shes just bitching about everything that im doing for her i know its nothing big....but like it just pisses me off when people try to use me and then bitch and whine about summin the should do but cant be fucked to oh well.,...teenage lame rant over (this is me focusing on the good lol ...) Liv xx

weyhey started smoking again bring on the 2nd bout of cancer for me i know i know liv xx aah ps ive also lost all my appetite...possibly coz i got food poisoning the other day. that was joyous!

i have no ego

ok i dont really wanna have an update, im kinda happy atm thanks to my friends but everything else is pissy n stable things in my life are crumbling. oh well. i just wanna see if this works...this is a pic of me at a fancy dress james bond party (whilst i was drunk) try and guess which one is me liv xx ok this is the only way it will work... dont laugh at all the shit here. http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=viewImage&friendID=29614858&imageID=241387592&Mytoken=520D7A1E-3DA7-4D78-A19C9467909B5545782467656 oh ps i would like to say im one of the pretty ones but...ppft, n getting drunk doesnt do me any favours either lil fact, there are two lesbian couples and 3 bisexuals in this pic...handy huh? lol liv over and out

right so on sunday evening two boys from a local school of mine were murdered; twood 14 and steven 16 you probably heard about it on the news. one guy had been held and another has been released. i hate the bastards who did it. i swear i used to see steven walking around my area i cant believe something like this could happen just a mile away from where i live. and me and a friend were walking around near that area about that time. and this isnt the 1st time something like this happens where i live. in reading just 5 miles from me a 14 year old girl was kidnapped, severly drugged and beaten, repeatdly raped and then murdered, and her friend who went through the same was left for dead but found close enough from the end to save her. and this was just THIS summer 3 murders and one failed murder all where i live in the space of 1 summer i cant believe the lack of morals some people have, i cant believe someone could carry out such horrendous acts as my friend put it "this place is turning into the ghetto" may they Rest In Peace "You Are Gone But You're Not Forgotten" liv xx leave your condolences or whatever if you wish.

how come i can always typw my password perfectly when i;'m drunk? any answers? love you all, and no thats not the alcohol talkling liv xx --------------------------------------------- edit The Purity Test! Start with 100%, take away 5% for everything you've done on this list. 1.) Smoked. 2.) Drank alcohol. 3.) Hooked up with someone while intoxicated. 4.) Done drugs. 5.) Given a handjob/gotten a handjob. 6.) French kissed. 7.) Felt someone up and/or been felt up. 8.) Made out with 2 seperate people in a 12 hour period. 9.) Had sex and/or got really close to having sex. 10.) Shared a man/girl with 1 of your really close friends. 11.) Watched porn. 12.) Cheated on your boyfriend and/or girlfriend. 13.) Done any sexual act on school campus. 14.) Peed on someone's property and/or goverment property. 15.) Had sex and/or messed around in your room, while your parents aren't home. 16.) Had sex and/or messed around in a public place or somewhere with a least 1 person present. 17.) Given a blowjob and/or had a blowjob. 18.) Having someone of the opposite sex in your room. 19.) Been fingered and/or fingered someone. 20.) Snuck into someone's room and/or your own room, after being out. ok i got 11/20 do thats (tried really hard to think in this state...)55%unpure, so actually too good, i might try and get all of these now lol ive done 1 ,2 3. 4 5 6 7 8 11 16and 19...