so raleigh is out of the picture. and without a word too, hmm. im not sad about him. i just loathe the thought of possibly feeling lonely. i dont want to end up doing something senseless when im feeling that way. (like hooking up with someone who doesnt give a fuck about me.) i tend to make those kinds of mistakes when im feeling low. its disgusting and i always regret it horribly later. i want to just be content on my own. i want to level out. im just so frantic in my mind. i cant relax. all the negative things in my head, no matter how small, are eating at me. im trying not to let it get to me but its not really working out. i've cried at work twice in the last week and i feel like an idiot.