so mom called dad today and asked for 300 dollars child support,he was willing to pay,the amount was...nothing.it really changed my point of view on my father,that he wouldnt give me the money for things that i need,when he knows that i need that at the age i am at,i dont find clothes at frencys like leanne and kathy do.i realize now that i had no support from them,it seemed like it at the begining,my father said everything i asked for was unreasonable,but yet i am a teen so what do u expect.he told my mother that i had no friends at shelburne because of my attitude and that if i kept my attitude the way it was i wasnt going to get anywhere.he always says when i was a kid...and i get sick of it,when u were a kid was like 40 years ago,and that was then this is now.i hated being harped at, for everything,im not harped at here because they know im a young adult and i dont need to be reminded,my room is a disaster right now,if it looked like it does there like it does here id be deaf by now.my room was and is more clean than dirty most of the time.i admit that i was jelous of leanne,she got more attention,praise and so on than i did,and one time when i called kathy bawling about jayson she thought nothing of it and just told me that she couldnt deal with it then,and when leanne would cry about a blanket she would comfort her and be there for her.i can talk to my mom about anything,i tell her that i watch kink and the L word and we talk about it,if i ahd even thought about watching those shows doen there id be shot,when a makeout scene was on ina movie kathy told dad to chnge the channel cuz i shouldnt see it.i think my whole time there i was a burden and then when i left everyone was sad,and kathy was fucking with me,thinking of every possible way that i could move right away and then at the counsellers she says she was using reverse phycology,fuck her.the cutting happened when the harping happened,and other things,but they looked at me as a freak.what i really hated was that they judged everything about me,my music,clothes,attitide,personality,and what i enjoyed,i hated it,this makes it less likely for me to tell them about ed,because i dont think i could trust someone who has judged me in such ways.i never wanted mom to go to court,but he has to be like that,and i know hel have to pay.nothing was ever good enough,if i vaccumed it had to be a certain way,and ect.i even had to wash my hair down stairs cuz i was an inconveinence to thier sleep in the morning.i was treated as a child,always being told ill help you make the bed and dont do the laundry ill do it,and same with the dishes when i can do laundry very well,and also dishes.i think shelburne will be the place that i go on holidays but i feel right now that i dont want to go there ever again,i dont want to look at my fathers face after choosing kathy over me.i hope they are happy,with there family now,leanne dad and kathy,hopefully they fixed what i had broken,because in that house i placed a curse,which is only there with my body.