so me and jayson,how do i say this in a simple way,i seem addicted or drwan to him,because he isnt here,and i dont have to worry about my looks,but meeting him seems to suck and seems to rock,my real identity is given away,and im no longer someone that he longs for,on the other hand ive waited 3 years and i cant stand the fact that he always hangs out with shelby instead of me,and with mom pumping all these ideas into my head,it gets hard.i do trust him,because if i were to be in love with someone,its him,because he was there for me,but i cant wait a lifetime,although there is no one else im interested in,well there is but ummmm.wow im thinking about the fact that jay might read this,he knows im bi,and he had no comment on it when i told him,but the girl i like is in flordia,and i miss her,believe me i dont think i could go without seeing her again,but when i meet jay i think ill forget about her,not as a friend,but as a possible girlfriend.im scared to tell him anything about me,cuz i have had bad experience with guys and he might "leave me",but i trust him,how contradicting is that??but yeah thats it.