Okay so i have only been home for not even a week and already shit is happening. For starters people need to get over the fact that i don't do anything anymore. PERIOD!!! NO drugs, no alcohol, no cigaretes. I'm done because i literally had my life taken away because of my stupid fucking choices. I'm sorry but to me a joint or a beer or a small bag of weed just isnt worth losing it all forever over. I mean i'm not dumb, i'm quite smart actually if i let my brain breathe and apply myself. On top of all of the drama with 'oh really you dont smoke anymore, you fag' bullshit i just found out some more information that flipped my world yet again. I found out that last night my mother had lesions show up on the M.R.I of her brain. That means it could be anything literally and that is what scares me, I already lost her once i couldn't handle doing it again. She has a muscle disease call fibrosomething-or-other, and the doctor seriously thinks that she has M.S. Guys i've never been scared like this before ever!! I'm scared shitless for myself but even more for kyle and kayla. B/c i had a chance to get to know who my mom is they are still little especially kayla. On top of what we would do if she can't work anymore. Finacially we would be fuck3d i know that im young and i shouldn't be worring or whatever but thats my family guys, i feel like im a little kid again and im lost in a store, thats what i would feel like all the time if i lost my mom. I know i know hope for the best, but im preparing myself for the worse because she gets mri's often like however many times a year and in her last one it didnt show anything which is also another reason why im freaking. Tia and cat i love you guys. Thank you for your support today because i was hurting inside.... bad. Anyways if anyone isnt going camping call me b/c ill be home for the next few days and i need the company, oh and every other w/e until the 11th.