today i woke up at 8:30 after going to bed at 2ish. i wasnt that tired, but after two conferences, a meeting and an acupuncture appointment im quite spent! i think tonight im going to stay in because i have a math midterm coming up and i am so behind in everything because the play opens in less than two weeks. im worried its going to suck soo much because some people STILL dont even know their lines. and im stressed because i dropped from a 97 in math to a 92 and even though thats still a decent mark im so disappointed. so i need to ace the midterm i think. my meeting today was so good. we really set a lot of goals for CPAR as a foundation into the new year... which is good because i was worried now that the gulu walk is done, intrests would falter and the ball wouldnt keep rolling. im now a co-chair because the position needs to be shared collectively since i am not old enough to be the legal chair for signing donation documents. which i dont really care about, because im still going to be just as involved and integrated. the only thing that upset me was being demoted because i wasnt old enough... and even though that wasnt their fault i just hate it when my age holds me back from doing the things i am more than capable of doing. im letting more people know about my work with CPAR though... i mean, last year i was so secretive! im just that type of person. my mom never even knows what im doing until the premotional days. i dunno, i let very few people know about my business endevours... high school kids are so closed minded and shallow and i get very rude responses when anyone mentions that im actually working with an international organization. sometimes i wonder if i should be more open though... there are things that im doing besides CPAR that no body knows about at all- and even more things that im planning on doing. im such a weird human being... i dont even understand myself. its no wonder that ive never had a relationship with a boy that lasted longer than 5 minutes. i really want to get away from high school. im so sick of everyone and how stupid it all is. courtney was talking about being a foreign exchange student... and the idea really appeals to me. i just want to escape all the calgarianism and meet some new, unique people. anyways this diary entry is all over the place so im going to go do my social. i think zak is going to copy it when i go to his house on monday so i should maybe have it done?