im buzzing quite sufficently right now and need to write so i dont forget. i told him how i felt when they were together. he said hes been in that position before.and that jaime was still his friend,so... and that was it. and i said at least im not the first one to notice the way you two act when together. and he said were still friends. and i forgot what i said after that. but i sure do know how i feel. pretty sad.and hurt. crazy how he looks at her and the voice he uses when talking to her.the same voice he used when devon called.that made me sad too. i feel like walking out the door.and just driving,eventhough it doesnt seem like that good of an idea. maybe ill walk.and quit tsx so i can never let another boy make me feel like this again. its almost like before. it makes me mad,like they had all these years as friends,so they couldve seen if they were really interested in eachother or if it would last. but he had to wait until he found me. and we never hung out with her before at all.but all of a sudden their great friends again. im glad hes there for her now that shes not with joe and matt. and im sure shell be there for him when he breaks up with me. im all about being super close with your friends and whatnot.but just the way they look at eachother and the way they talk to eachother.is absolutely not the same way they act when im alone with eather one of them. and now shes here and im doing all possible not to cry.because he will not see me cry anymore. because he doesnt think the way he acts is wrong. because hes gone through this before,and he and her are still friends. and thats it. i know its the beer talking but i dont think the loos would hurt him.or anybody. maybe for awhile,theyd be sad or whatever. i dont think im bringing anything to the relationship. and he wont ever take a step back to actually think about what i said. and im so so sad. but im wearing these new shoes and im drinking beer. and we are who we are.people dont change. apparently he is like the rest of us. i thought he was special.i thought he felt the way i feel. but i would hate myself if i knew i was the reason they never got the chance to see. ((im making this seem so huge,right??)) i never thought itd be to much to not act like that with another girl in front of your girlfriend.