i only chose this mood because its the car i drive. this david blain is on the tv and the boys went down to the jiffy. im not one to carry on like a child.if i see it and it makes me cringe or smile it goes in here simply because it was convenient. id rather you didnt read because there are some things you shouldnt know about me. like everything. i oft wonder if greasy people know they smell. do the outsiders know theyre not liked? do you know how much you are laughed at?the things people say when they talk about you? does that girl know she has lipstick on her teeth? do the people you idolize and long for and wish you were,know you exist?would they care if they did? truthfully,i dont really mind if i never get my car painted,if i cant get anymore clothes even for winter. but i can healthfully say that i dont see a girl in a store anymore and wish i was her. and stare at her.and try to pick every bit of her being apart. im no longer unhealthy. like you are. sick. being not even a shadow of your former self. not even the smallest shard of thought is the same.and it never will be. im reading kay redfield-jamison. book one was good.gave me a decient amount of insight.and while her manias and depressions were much more servere,i can say ive witnessed some sort of manic-depressive disorder. in-patient and out. book two is focused (merely) on suicide.if suicide can ever be considered as mere. as with the first there is a lot of personal goings-on intertwined with her medical findings-out. the personal stuff wore me out causing me to skip some paragraphs as well as the last few chapters of the book.almost as if she was expierencing manias and depressions as she wrote the memoir. abrupt ending.