i wanted the change to be reminisant of how i have been feeling. plain and somber but calm. i was feeling apathetic and going through my van gogh book. the picture i want on there but couldnt do was Deaths'-head Moth.the drawing,not the painting. but alas,Olive Trees was the one i was able to put up. im going to start my Kay Redfield-Jamison books. ive had them for so long.and for some reason,ive found intrest only in books about depression.Unholy Ghost and so forth. i think im going through a i-wanna-know-everything-about-depression phaze because i want to be all the way free of it.i realized how good i am feeling,and want things to stay like this. i get so much energy from ryan.he makes me feel good. ps:i hate my fucking tits. the end.