I hope you're reading this, because there are a lot of things I need to say to you...

First of all I feel like such a prick for what I said and did earlier, and I cannot believe the way I behaved and acted: it was shocking, childish, and 100% shit of me. Seriously, I'm being totally honest when I say it was all my doings, and I know you weren't the cause of any of it, and replaying the events in my mind make me sick.

I have been the worst boyfriend and totally let you down. I can't deny that. The way I've acted has just simply been plain childish, and I seriously need to grow up..

You deserve the best, you really do. I haven't been that lately, but I truly believe we can be happy together, and share what has been so special since 01/01/2010.

I forget sometimes just how amazing and wonderful you are, and you are so special that that should never occur to you in any instance: you are the best person I've ever met, let alone girl. You make me happy beyond anything I've ever experienced before, and I'm a twat for taking that very thing for granted. When we talked about fantasies yesterday, I never mentioned how you were and are my biggest fantasy of all time: You are the most beautiful girl these goofy eyes have ever laid eyes on. Don't ever forget that is the case. I'm going to let you know how truly lucky I am to know you, let alone have you. It's going to be like that from now on. I've learnt my lesson the hard way.

You're kind, sweet, thoughtful, playful, lovely, gorgeous, smart, funny, fun, amazing, nommy, cute, sexy gorgeous, and I feel like the biggest loser for taking all those things for granted. I have been taking those things for granted, but no longer now: I've had horrible terrible thoughts about not being with you, and being able to hug you, and talk to you, and share our lives together - it's been unbearable.

I need to see you again, I need to talk to you in person.

At 3:00pm onwards I am going to be waiting at the pond that froze over last term, between your house and the bridge. I will be waiting there for as long as it takes, and if I don't see you there Monday, I'll be there on Tuesday from 3:00pm, and so on.

Being in this situation, I realised how I take you for granted, and how I've been a jerk, and how you deserve much better than what I've been like. I just hope more than anything that you meet me tomorrow.

I love you more than anything in the world, and I can't bare my life without you in it.

Anthony Vaccaro

xX

A Moment of Realisation