I still feel the same way about you; just like I always have. Two days - even though they were great for me - would not change this all of a sudden. However if I look back, I can see why you feel the way you do...

I never meant any of this. On Saturday, I wanted to be there. Of course I wanted to be there! I just couldn't stay. I love being with you, and it's just alarming as to how you sometimes don't think this is the case. And then in the night I was shaken as to how you wouldn't tell me what was wrong, as I'm there to help you out. I care about you much too much to just stand by! And I was silly to be disappointed that you weren't coming to see me on Sunday, because you were very busy. I was just looking forward to seeing you, that's all.

Because of this, I thought that I should prepare myself not to see you for a while, and take care of things that needed to be done. Then you changed your mind, which is fair enough, but it was too late for me to see you, and then come back home...

Instead, I could have spent the night around yours. It would have been amazing as always, and the last time until September. I simply didn't. I feel shit, as I'm sat here on my own, and you're not here with me - and it's my fault as to why I'm not with you. You said come over, but I thought it didn't seem serious. You said yes yesterday, then don't get your hopes up, then finally no, and then yes in the late afternoon. I just thought you needed some time alone, and was suggesting that I come over because you feel bad about not seeing me today. I still thought you were busy, and I would have been a distraction.

That's why I chose to get the lift back - as I was driven up to Tilehurst, and stayed here. Plus, you were told to do more work around the house, and I would have slowed you down.

For the record, I do care, and I can be bothered.

You are still my everything, and this will never change.

All I want for my birthday is you

xX