I don't even know where to start. I'm sore. I know it's new muscle, but it's also heavy and makes me eat more and put on seven pounds I did NOT want to accrue... fucking accounting terminology. hah Volleyball is adding additional stress I could live without. I'm not even playing well. Wtf is up with that? I can't even tell if our team is going to do well. We are definitely going to struggle. As each day, hour, second passes I feel more and more guilty. How could I do it? How can I still want to? I definitely should be taking my medicine because it would REALLY be helpful with this obsessive-compulsive bullshit that's driving me nuts. I am nuts. I haven't been living up to my sitD mantra because I've definitely been getting three hours of sleep at most, yet I still attempt to sleep more. Hah. I'm a joke. It's funny how I deleted all of my negative entries, replaced them with positive ones, and still managed to replace "the replaced" with my nasty, little thoughts. I'm freezing. My pinky keeps going numb. Fucking fall. I hate it.