Well well welly well.. I'm currently sitting here with my elbow propped on my notebook with things to do. How productive of me. My eulogy will read as follows: "Here I sit, fucked and dead, with a list of things to do in my head. Literally." I'm sure that'll rise a laugh out of my fellow friends and family, but enough of my metaphorical death. Der Komissar's in town. Uh oh. Yes I just quoted a classic 80's song so shoot me. I'm well prepared, assuming I just wrote myself a little eulogy there. So this past month has been even slower than the last one. Let's fill you all in on what happened over the break with Monsignor Grizzly: *Fear and lothing/foreplay, chinese food/making out, pure fucking, videogame love making, donkey kong ass wooping, with the remote (oh it was kinky ^0^) And I'm done being a smart ass. You get the drift, we laughed, we cried, we fucked, we ate, we were human. Yes, human, I felt human. Finally... He is the single most person in the world who can make me feel loved and completed. Our love hasn't died, even after spending so much time with each other that week every day one should have become sick of the other but didn't. The only teensy possible flaw in that week was the outcome a further date away to the present: possible pregnancy..(which I'm getting checked out on Wed.) Creepy eh? You know what else is creepy, besides the fact a 17 year old like myself could be pregnant? A slimy, nearly microscopic organism similar to myself with combined genes of my love and myself growing and getting bigger by the day in the uterus which lies behind my veil of flesh in my stomach area. I always found that mind boggling/depressing. So besides this somewhat pimple rising stressful time life is good. I've been talking to Grizzman every day pretty much. These past couple of days have been spent walking around for ridiculous hours in downtown manhattan. I swear, Matt, Bonner, and Derrick are my three most favorite people out here. Without them I have no idea where my mind would be. Probably somewhere swimming in the dark dank toilet sewers of my conscious. It amazes me how my mind used to work, and works presently. I'm baffled. I'm listening to an old zeppelin song that I first heard in Freshman year...which is the year I seriously started to get into drawing..I drew this hellfire induced toppling head with a maze inside...don't ask me why I decided to think of that...oh well.. I'm now feeling my mind sinking and sliding to that old comfortably welcoming place where thoughts of brutality, mutilation, and ravenous killing brew. I'm going to go tame the wild beast that snaps at my brain like a steak by a string. It's an odd feeling..almost like your insides are going to spew out acidic black and purple fluids and rapture around everything, turning it midnight blue... what the fuck am I on?....Fuck the sliding, emo brain I'm gonna go watch Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. Farewell my lovelies!!!! I'll leave you all with this thought: Z?