I've decided that I have ADD. It really explains my behavior and, how i'm failing school, i'm easilly distracted, I procrastinate, I forget and lose things, i daydream constantly, i have trouble consentrating, and i've just been "researching" it on the internet and I found out that there's this thing called Hyperfocusing that people with ADD have where, when there's something that you're really interested in, you'll put all your attention into it. I do feel that way about some things, but I can't really remember them right now... Anyways i've always known there was something like, off about me... But you know i figured it was my imagination, or that you know it wasn't anything serious, but now i feel like it's just ruining my life and it makes me so frustrated, and i'm just so depressed, and it... you can't imagine how frustrating it is to try to do something... but you just can't because... you don't even know why. You know you don't want to do it, but even when you try... Fuck it's making me cry! I hate myself so much and kick myself for being this way. I'd really like to take something for it. I'd really like to see a doctor for it, but, it's not like i can talk to my parents about it. I don't have the type of parents that you talk to... about anything. I'm gonna have to make a meeting with an Academic Advisor because of my failing every class last semester. We're gonna try to figure out what's wrong with me... So hopefully the AA will figure it out and maybe send me to a doctor. You know I have a feeling I have some, like mental... issues. You know those crazos on the street who, like talk to themselves? I feel like i'm them sometimes, like i'm 2 steps away from that. I feel like I understand why they're doing it, and it like makes sense to me. (I don't know if it makes sense to you) but that's the thing, i'm still in touch with reality and what is considered "normal", but i feel that i'm slowly forgeting. And once i cross that line... Anyways once that happens at least they'll be this diary, so that people can remember that at one time i was... well... More sane.