Oh man I just remembered i still had this online diary. I can't believe i even remembered my password... I just read all my old entries,... God i was such a kid when i wrote that. So inexperienced and naive and confused... Not that i'm not still like that, but i like to think that i've grown up at least a little bit in the last year. Oh my God i'm 19 now... AAaarrgghh! And what's really depressing is that i'm basically in the same romantic and professional situation i was in back then. Except of course, now i know a bit more. But how is that useful anyway? I still haven't had a boyfriend yet, i've dropped out of school, and i am currently looking for a job. I actually have an interview at Subway later (cross your fingers!) If i don't get this job i'm in trouble because my CV really sucks. I don't think i'll be able to find anything else. A few months ago i had 2 jobs. One was doing surveys on the phone, and i was also bartending at this small shitty bar where only old weird guys went, and they would sometimes offer me money to sleep with them and i just couldn't handle it. I didn't quit though... I got fired because this new guy who was hired to sell drugs in the bar hated me for some reason, and 1 day he accused me of stealing money from the cash, which was totally untrue of course, but he fired me, and i took it as a blessing in disguise. And shortly before that i had quit my survey job because i was just too bored with it. And now i'm in trouble. I'm actually planning to move to New York city soon...ish. I really think that's where i belong. Whenever i tell people they don't believe me and say it's never gonna happen and i have a crazy imagination... But i think maybe that's why i need to get away from Montreal, because i have so many dreams, and over here, all my dreams get killed. And maybe i'm not like other people. Maybe i'm not meant to sit in a boring-ass classroom and do boring fucking homework everyday... Or doing some boring-ass tedious survey for hours. I definitely think that the world has something bigger planned for me. I just need to escape first... Wow i feel so inspired now. The only thing is first i need money to get the fuck out of here... So i'll go to that subway interview, and i'll get that job, and everything'll be fine