i hate it i really do.. it hurts me to think about it.. the only way i can express my feelings is on here. and its the best way. if someone would ask me what was wrong i wouldnt be able to tell them what was, because i can't put the feeling into words.
ok so i cried yesterday and for many reasons. guys;; friends;; pressure;; and yea..
yesterday i was thinking and thinking about stuff made me realize. i need to change. i need to change how i react to bad things. i hate how i would just sit there when something did happen. i hate how i can't help the people i love the most. and i just keep saying "i'm sorry" "i'm sorry".. i hate it. how i act like a whiny stubborn child. i hate it. and guys.
gah. him just saying his name hurts. even when i hear it. theres like a painful feeling.around my stomach and chest not because of physical pain. emotional pain.
ok so i was on myspace.. there were surveys going around and so i wanted to well do one and i did. and other people did it too.. so he did the survey also. one of the questions were "have you broken someone's heart?" and he says "idk hope not" my heart just dropped.. he lies. he should know. he shold know what that did to me. even if i acted happy for his gf and him. it was like i died inside when i found out .
i want to forget. yet my heart does not. i cried because of this. i dont know what to do.
i also thought about us being friends. yea. and i thought he could help me with my problem. minus the guys part. i was wrong. he didnt help me and when i said "..i'm just going to go.." he just says "ok.."... that broke me.
class will be over in about like. 15 minutes.. so.. i dont know should i go or should i not.
should i forget..or no..
x♥3