i have been in love with my best friend since 8th grade(hes a guy).. and just recently we started hanging out a lot more..(because he had a girlfriend).. and like it seems as though he has feelings for me as well.. and he asked me to prom.. and brought me flowers.. and says cute things to me.. and is just an amazing guy.. but last night we talked about dating.. and he doesnt know if he wants to start anything because of hes going away for college and ill be staying here.. and he doesnt know how often he would be able to get back here.. and he knows it will take sacrifice.. but he doesnt know what to do.. and he said that we just need to pray about it..and then he told me that he loved me.. and then i left.. but i dont think he realizes how many times hes broken my heart in the past.. and my dreams are finally coming true.. and we had an awesome night last night.. and i told him to just keep it up in the air for now.. and we wont make any huge decisions yet.. so we'll see i guess..

so its been a really long time since ive written in this sucker.. but i really need to talk and i dont have anyone.. life sucks ass.. its my effing senior year and its supposed to be awesome and it sucks... my parents told me that i couldnt hang out best friend of almost 4 years ever again.. and i have been trying so hard to get them to just understand how much this is tearing me apart.. but they dont seem to care.. i cant function without her.. as cheesy as it sounds.. but its the truth.. i find myself just breaking down... and i feel like my parents dont care.. and its come to like causing my school work to suffer.. whcih makes everything even harder.. i just dont know what to do anymore.. im sorry.. i tried i fought honestly i did..but im not gettign anywhere.. i give up.. im sorry

Today is soooooo boring!!! I want to go do something.. but theres no one to do anything with!! RAWR!! Heather got her surgery today!! I hope everything went well!! I'm sad cuz I probably won't be able to talk to her until tomorrow cuz i have to work.. :( I went to Chad's house for a little while.. he just got off work so he was kinda smelly.. but oh man he is soooooo freakin hot!! He is going to the beach like right now.. I am so jealous.. I have to freakin work I want to go with him.. Man today has been a waste.. I have done absolutley nothing all day.. and now im gonna go to work.. and then come home and do more of nothing! Well i should probably head out..

i hate my parents!!! why are they so freaking gay!! we have like 6 freaking vehicles and my brother doesnt drive to college and so that means there are 4 cars here that arent being drivin and i cant drive to school??? that makes noo sense what so ever to me.. and im the only one who doesnt have a car.. my rbother got a car from my grandma.. and both my parents have like 2 vehicles and im stuck with nothing... i just shouldnt have even gotten my license.. its a freaking waste since my paretns are freakin retards!! i hate them so much!!

well me and heather are just chillaxin on the pc.. and its lots of fun.. we went shopping and i bought a green belt.. its pretty neat.. and then we ran in the rain.. it was fun.. but yeha.. so last night my house almost burnt down.. cuz my mom was boiling potatoes on the stove.. and she fell asleep and they were on the stove for like 2 hours.. :O it was BAD and then my brother came downstairs and noticed so he saved the day! and my whole downstairs was all smokey and the pan is all burninated and what not.. alright goodbye time for work!!

i hate being allergic to everything! it sucks horribly.. ahh i freakin had like some pistachios and now i look like a tomato.. and i itch all over and cant breathe thru my nose.. its soo gross... and im really tired..stupid allergies if my parents dont let me do anything tonight because of this.. i will be super pissed!!

so today im pretty sure that i really hate work.. and dont want to go... its such a nice day out i just want to hang out outside.. but i gotta be stuck inside at work..so not fair.. well im pretty sure that i really just want it to be summer.. im sick of school.. im sick of work.. i just want to go to the lake and go camping and go to the beach and hang out with friends.. and sleep in.. i cant wait!! so i worked all day yesterday.. and then went to peters house.. and he was supposed to be having this big ol' get together.. and i was thinking that i was going to be the last one to arrive.. and i was the first one there.. and it was like 830.. but everyone was at the warehouse.. and then like around the time that i was having to leave thats when everyone showed up.. so it didnt really go all that well.. but i still had fun with peter.. so thats cool.. i miss hawaii.. it was soo pretty there.. and nice.. and smoke free.. ugh.. i wish i couldve been there with peter... that wouldve been like the ultimate.. but only in my dreams.. apparently hes to good for hawaii.. someday.. thats where i shall have my honeymoon.. or maybe something european.. or oriental.. or something along those lines.. i guess we will see.. is it sad that whenever im not with peter i wish i were with him.. like i couldve just hung out with him and i want to be there with him again.. i am pathetic.. i know.. hes just so wonderful to be around.. and he truly likes me for me.. and like my stupid little quirks.. or at least the ones hes seen so far.. ohh man.. i miss jesica.. :( i never see her.. and i feel like shes mad at me or something.. cuz she wont talk to me anymore.. and i used to have lunch with her and peter.. but now i dont.. and it makes me sad.. cuz we became really good friends.. and like now we dont talk.. and i feel like somethings going on with her.. and im kinda worried.. but she wont talk to me.. ahh idk.. well i should head out.. and get ready for work.. adios.. --.:Jaime:.

wow this week went by so fast.. i can't believe that i spent my spring break in hawaii.. it still hasn't hit me.. i hated the flight.. it stunk.. apparently i get motion sickness from planes.. because i felt like crap the whole time.. and it was horrible.. but oh well we got to do a bunch of aweosme stuff like we got to climb diamond head.. it was extremely beautiful.. you could see the whole island practicaly..it was probably one of the best experiences ive ever had... i can't even really explain how i felt when i was up there... i also got to go snorkeling in hanauma bay.. didn't like that.. it was too scary for me.. and i kept hitting the coral.. and its sooo weird not breathing through my nose.. we also went to the PCC(Polynesian Cultural Center)and got to see a bunch of different cultures and watched this show that was pretty cool.. we went shopping and i bought peter a ukalalee(sp) and a few t-shirts for my family and a bunch of jewelry.. i am sooo tired from this trip tho.. so i think i am going to head to bed.. goodnight!! -- .:Jaime:.

i am sooo excited!! i leave for hawaii in a week from today!! its going to be freakin awesome.. i cant wait!!! ok i gtg to work now.. adios!!

I hate being sick.. seriously whats the deal? This morning i woke up and I had pink eye.. and for like the past 3 months i've been sick with like the nose/throat/chest stuff.. and i was starting to get better and now i have it again.. and it sucks. And to top it all off i was supposed to go to breakfast with my boyfriend this morning but couldnt because i have pink eye and my parents wouldnt let me leave.. so i have been stuck at home all day feeling miserable. What a bummer..

well today was a pretty swell day.. although i was sick.. and have been for the past few days... but im getting better so WOO HOO!! im really bummed.. my msn isnt working.. i dont get it.. it was fine the other day.. and now all of a sudden it just decides to like take a crap on me (not literally)... but the rest of my internet works just fine.. now someone PLEASE explain that one to me? cuz i really dont get it.. but anyways... so i get to work today.. again.. man i never get a break.. and i get to work with the most wonderful person on the face of the earth..(said with a HINT of sarcasm) Cassie.. man.. i know its not very nice to talk bad about people.. but honestly.. she is soo annoying.. and now she works with me.. and its liek her second day.. what a nightmare!! ahh whatever.. thats life!

wow it has been like the longest week of my life.. ive worked practically every day this week.. it kinda bites the big one.. and it makes me feel like i have no life.. because i spend it there so much.. its no fun either.. im pretty sure i hate it there..because there are so many jerks there.. and rarr.. i want to hit them.. usually in the face (sorry for the violence in that comment.. im not usually so violent).. and i just really want to be able to hang out with my friends and peter.. i feel so bad.. i havent really gotten to see him this past week.. except for in school.. the last time i got to hang out with him was on monday.. and he made me supper.. ahh hes soo sweet.. so maybe i can see him tomorrow since its like the one day i dont close this week.. but i think he might work.. dang.. life is so complicating.... AHHH its like TWO MONTHS UNTIL I GO TO HAWAII!!! i am soo freaking excited!! :D:D:D wow what a flip around there..

i dont get this.. God says that he gave everyone a gift.. and that we can use them to praise him.. but i dont know what my "gift" is.. i mean im soo talented at everything.. jk.. but seriously here.. i dont know what im good at.. and its not the obvious like musicly talented or drawing or anything like that.. cuz im not that great at either of them.. although i enjoy them both.. i wish God would just slap me in the face with it.. honestly.. and like today at bc.. we talked about the Holy Spirit, and like our testimonies and stuff.. and i have received Christ as my Lord and Savior.. but i just dont ever "feel" the Holy Spirit.. and i dont know how to tell whether or not i have the Holy Spirit.. man this Christian business is hard.. and like i feel like im failing him.. becuase i havent helped any non believers to receive Christ.. but i am still learning myself.. and i feel like maybe i should try and tell others because im afriad if i do i might be telling them wrong.. those who read this.. and if you wish to.. could you please pray for me.. that i may start really living my life for Christ... and that he might open my eyes and my heart and that i might see my gifts and use them for him.... thank you...

man.. screw this stupid diary thing.. no one leaves me comments anyways.. and its pointless.. who wants to read about peoples lives anyways.. so eff this.. goodbye to any of you that actually care.. which is probably no one..

oh man i gotta go to the bathroom and i should go considering the restroom is approximately four feet away.. but i really just dont want to.. mmm i smell supper.. it smells very good.. yeah so today was like the most fantastic day ever.. i went to school today and lyndsi was back!!!!! i can't express in words how excited i was when i saw her.. and how ecstatic i am right now just knowing that she is back at least for a little bit.. she is like my twin.. i love that girl soo much.. ahh man... and then like the coolest teacher at the high school got engaged.. and we've been teasing her for the longest time.. and she finally got engaged.. and so we didnt have to do anything today in class.. and yeah i didnt have to work today.. and so it was just an all around good day..so yeah

okay so last night at at around 9 or so i get a phone call and it was travis.. and he was at his moms house.. but he told me that he would only be there for the weekend.. and he was going to be coming home and not to worry.. so we will see what happens.. soooo today is friday and its finally the weekend.. i feel like this week went by so slowly.. maybe becuase i only got to see travis for a day.. :( i am sooo pathetic.. but anyhoo.. so im feeling kinda sickified right now.. and im really wishing that my headachey coldness thing would go away soon.. because i am quite sick of it i must say.. and well i have to go to work tonight.. which i bet is going to be a blast.. and i am really looking forward to it.. luckily i only work for like 3 hours.. :) but i get paid today! woohoo.. well i think i shall hit the road.. adios.. addition: so i came home from work.. and now i am just sitting here and im realllly extremely bored and have nothing to do!! ahh this stinks.. well i could be productive and do my hw.. but who wants to do that on a friday night.. and i really need to do laundry.. but its just not gonna happen.. holy crap we got the new schedules for next week and i close like a lot.. its nuts.. i dont think ive ever closed that much! :O so.. what could i do.. OH MY GOODNESS i have to tell this dream i had.. and the crazy thing is i didnt think anything of it.. until i related it to something.. okay so i had this dream that i was at this diner with travis, his sister, and 2 of our friends and we were going to his moms house(in the cities) and we were all done eating but i wanted some ice cream or something but they lady ran out so i was trying to help her get it filled and when i turned around they all left me.. and i looked outside adn they were all getting in the car.. and i ran outside and like it looked exactly like my front yard and they all looked at me and continued to do there thing and drove off and i sat in the middle of the lawn and cried.. okay.. now i was like thinking about this yesterday.. and like its like travis and his sis left to go to the cities to see his mom and i was left back crying.. man.. thats wierd..so yeah.. crazy

travis finally came back today.. but it wasnt the pleasant surprise that i thought it was going to be.. somethings going on with his sister i guess and she stayed at his moms.. and now he wants to move to the cities.. because thats where his sister is.. and i dont want him to go.. i know im being selfish.. but it just sucks.. and i understand he wants to be supportive to his sister...and im trying to be supportive to all this too.. but its soo hard.. when he was just gone for this past little while i missed him so much.. and now he wants to move to the cities.. for a while.. i mean its not a for sure decision but yeah i hate this..

so.. last night i had like the most massive headache ever.. and i could barely sit and do my homework.. and i laid down and fell asleep.. at 730.. and didnt get up until 7 this morning.. thats liek 11 and a half hours of sleep.. and i must say it was wonderful.. but yeah when i woke up my mother dearest told me that one of our pipes burst and so we dont have any water.. so i was unable to take a shower this morning..let me tell you i was pretty happy.. so i felt pretty gross all day.. and it still isnt fixed.. and on top of that.. travis wasnt at school today.. so i was really bummed.. and so i called his house after school to see what was up and his car broke down in wisconsin.. so he had to wait for it to get fixed before he could get back home.. i was majorly bummed.. i was soooo wanting to see him.. or at least talk to him.. bummer.. anyhoo.. im pretty sure that he is home now.. even tho he hasnt called yet.. so yeah.. now i shall wrap up my evening.. and go to bed.. and paint my toes.. a pretty color.. goodnight all

i am a genious(sp?) i fixed my printer.. all by myself!! and i taught myself 2 new songs on the piano!! yay!! rockin.. well thats all for now.. what the heck does genki mean?? words ppl come up with.. addition: travis comes home in like 3 days! ahh why is he the only thing thats ever on my mind.. its crazy.. he called me last night :D.. it was wonderful.. he is fantastic.. he played songs for me on his guitar.. and the piano.. and he sang for me!! :D he rocks my socks off.. ahh the first night he left.. i was sitting here being bored.. not expecting to talk to him until tuesday.. and he called my cell.. and after i got off the phone with him i was like ecstatic.. ahh man he makes me smile!!

oh man i have a funny story.. okay so every year on my moms side of the family we celebrate christmas on thanksgiving.. because my aunt and uncle go to texas cuz they dont like snow..? and i have this crazy cousin whose like the same age as my mom.. i know wierd.. and she always gets really stupid gifts.. and we never know what to expect.. like one year when i was like 10 she gave me an XL guys sweatshirt... and a tape player that didnt work.. and just cheap stuff.. and so this year me and my mom were kinda joking around when we were shopping for stuff for everyone else..and we were like i wonder what shes gonna get us this year.. so yeah i open my gifts from her.. and she got me a set of steak knifes.. that were from the dollar store or something.. and a mixer thing.. that you use when you bake.. ok first of all its not liek im moving out or anything.. and it was just hilarious.. as i opened it i tried to contain my laughter.. but i just couldnt help it.. and she got like some of my other cousins salt and pepper.. and a tupperware thing.. and who knows what else.. so yeah.. thats my funny thanksgiving story..