well today i hung out with travis.. hes a cool kid.. i like hangin out with him.. he makes me smile. He picked me up and we went out to eat at panda garden.. and he paid for me! It was a grand ol time. We talked about different stuff.. dug a little bit deeper into my life, since he knows like nothing about me. Except for that i am super hyper sometimes. Its wierd.. me and him have so much in common.. its crazy.. hes like the next me practically.. although he is exceptionally good at the guitar.. and i cant play for crap. But hey what can ya do? And like one thing that i dont like about hanging out with him is that we flirt sooo bad, and when i flirt with him i cant help but think of peter. I feel so terrible. I really like peter, but the more i hang out with Travis it makes me like him too. And i guess im not really friends with the people he hangs out with.. not that that is a bad thing, because hey i can make new friends.. but they just arent "my type of people" and that probably sounds relaly bad.. but i dont know how else to explain it. I asked peter today if it bothered him that i talk to travis or hang out with travis, and his response was i trust you, so i try not to let it bother me. And you told me before that you were just friends so yeah i trust you, its cool. And its not like he cant trust me, but i feel like im lying or betraying him or something, because i do flirt with travis. Its not like we are all over each other or anything, its just little things. I dont know what to do! Its soo sad though, because in the short time that ive known travis we've hung out more then in the month or so that ive liked peter.. like honestly me and peter never do anything and hardly ever talk on the phone or anything.. but like after hangin out twice me and travis had already done/talked more then me and peter had. I make things so complicating... and i cant ever make up my mind. Maybe if i wasnt such a freakin perfectionist about things, and didnt over analyze things it would be ok. I wish i could change so many things abotu me. Be a whole different person.