days before i was aware all that was deconstructing in front of me i was hidden by decayed walls and dying plants folded under my footsteps. i looked out for loose bricks but i didn't bother to acknowledge their weakness and trusted my faith in their strength. without safety i will fall, and i have no safety in sight. rotting hollows provide me shelter from the rain and my keypad an escape from reality. my computer screen is a portal in which i can see outside my little world and stay compact and out of sight from those who i don't want to see me. i play with my lighter and waste valuable time doing nothing but consuming time. i am a consumer, and i am a waste. without hesitating i leap off the end of the cliff as i ran toward it with all that i had in me and i fall down into shallow water and barely avoid a fatal ending. if this is worth looking for god i'm not sure, and think if there was a god i wouldn't of landed so safely. broken and bruised i look out and above my head for anything that could pull me from my shallow pool of water and blood. light-headed and faint i will walk away from this like nothing happened, hurt but without showing it, my pain will stay my little secret i don't need to talk about, and never show off. it will work its self out, with all hope. sincerely, a fairwell lover.