september seventh. i've thrown myself to the sea. in a situation where i can't find a decent way out the only option is to let go. i can try my hardest, keep gasping for air as those waves push me toward a far off shore, but i know i won't make it. she doesn't feel the same about me how i feel about her. she keeps tossing out something to hope for, but i know in the end it's not there. so i'm back to that pathetic saying "if you love something, let it go." when i found out i showed nothing, i gave you a hug to show my sorrow and i felt a painful blow, but i kept it all inside. we talked about it, and the more we did the more it seemed to hurt. that night under the stars a tear hit my cigarette and you began to laugh, you told me "boys don't cry" and i told you i couldn't let it go. well i've done my best and i'd love to tell you i'm past all this, but sometimes it all comes back. you tell me you've forgotten and i tell you that's not possible. you will never be live. you are cold, shallow, and empty. myspace friends make me laugh, the nice ones who tell you stories, who you talk to on AIM, the ones who tell you "you've lived more than me" the ones who you think "what if i knew this person?" real friends are better. you get to see them, and when they look at you just the right way you swear you could be in love with them. it's hard not to say anything, but you do your best to hide it, but when they look at you with that look they do, you think "could i marry this girl?" "if you do something right, no one will be sure you've done anything at all"