i just wanted to write about my day... which was better than usual.... concidering the fact that it consisted of nothingness and lazyness thank god for small favors... like with what hapened at the perfect time to day.... and omg i need a real cig... this whole.... out of them thing..... SUCKS BALLS ok bye Miriah

OK... you know how when you get to that point in the relationship where you start messing around and you get used to fooling around everyday..... until one morning you wake up and think.... oh god... not today.... Yes your period came.... It's fucked up really cause then your only place is the shower and of course your man can't tear himself away from his video game long enough to join you.... but after you get out he wants to nibble your ears and kiss your damn neck.... oh yeah now he is in the mood to fuck with you.... which usually is great but oh no.... here comes the cramps so of course now you are bitchy cause your in pain.... and he takes it as if you just grabed his balls and twisted them.... which you didn't.... so now not only do you have like the worst crampsever but all you want is his touch for him to be close... but your all bitchy and bloated..... it's not lady like to fart in public or spit but it's ok to bleed from your crotch every month for a very painful week????? i hate my period it fucks everything up... sometimes i wish that they didn't exist... fuck child birth the world doesn't need anymore stupid fucking people in it.... most people don't even need to have kids....like the people that can't spell there own names or the ones that can't take care of them selves.... i really think that god fucked up everything by deciding that it was ok for woman to have periods.... It's gay it's painful and it's stupid.... it's like let's throw a period in at the worst possible time.... while they are you know doing it on the day it wasn't supposed to come.... yes that is straight bull shit anyways... i guess i am done bitching about my period now.... not like anyone will read this.... it just feels better to write about it.... and i think that now i may be able to get through the night of don't fucking touch me cause everytime you do it makes me want you.... and i can't have you cause i'm on my fucking period....

Ok so there is alot going on right now.... a few of the people i know well and love more are having people verbally bash them.... so i bring it up again NO ONE HAS ANY RIGHT TO TALK ABOUT SOMEONE ELSE... and once again if you would look in the mirror you people who like to talk.... you would realize you have no room to talk.... AND another thing... jealousy is a big green monster just becuase a person dosen't feel for you the way they feel for someone else is not a good reason to call them names and talk about them..... and you shouldn't talk about the person that likes the person you like anyways... when you want to be friends... be a friend and don't hate on the one your FRIEND likes it's stupid pointless and to tell yo the truth it's wrong... if everyone would just stop and realize the pain they cause each other and if everyone would have the will power to stop it.... the world would be a much better place to live in... but no people don't seem to understand the only thing that has a right to judge anyone else.... is the higher power... god.... whatever you call him/ her I am not free from sin but he who is cast the first stone..... no one reading this should cast a stone Miriah

Life may bring you down, but just look around, everywhere I see, angels watching over you and me With every new road I travel, amoungst the dirt and grim and gravel, there is a new angel I see, watching over you and me Although at first glance you can't tell, look a little hards through thier shell, and you will see the angel inside walking there by your side Always look for the angel, they are everywhere you go, standing right beside you, though you may not know Miriah Waller

i hate stupid people liars and cheats... basicaly that is the whole point of this... when you tell someone you love them and you don't... that makes you a liar when you can't spell simple words... that makes you stupid when you are making out with someone else when you are with some one... that makes you a cheater when you do all three... that makes you just like my ex who can burn in hell and his little whore can too.... I HATE STUPID PEOPLE AND THERE LIES WHEN THEY CHEAT

well... today is just another day bu i forgot to write here for a while..... since i ca't blog on myspace with out risk of someone seeing it that shouldn't.... i write here... but i haven't been writing anywhere so let's catch up... i still love wesley... i had a terrible date last night and i have another friend from florida coming up here he will be here friday.... yay other than that i have been playing alot of d&d... which is nice... and while wesley and i have our fights... almost daily i am glad we are still around each other because to risk losing him is like risking losing my ability to breathe miriah

i lost my job

ok so December wins again....this is a bad month... lets begin at well... the begining.... everything seemed great i was with the perfect guy who i moved with frm florida... nce war florida.... to missouri... cold ass missori... and he well.... dumped me after a week of being here... i am still living with him.... but it's hard to know that we won't be together again then after that things got a little bit better i go a job.... well now i know that i have the worst job... i hate it so much... it sucks... i spilled milk shake onmy new cell phone.... now it dosn't work.... then the other day my best friend died in a car accident.... he had another friend with him... another young life lost to the drunken road so yeah christmas isn't going to well... and i relly hope that the month gets better.... it would help if i wasn't so heart broken.... felt so alone.... having an emo month

ok so i am currently doing so much my head may explode.... i am packing doing laundry and getting ready for a new begining begining tomorrow I am happy that me and my baby are taking this little adventure i really feel as if i cannot do this without him.... so yeah i am happy i am going with him......... at the same time i am nervous because of the simple fact that i have never done anything like this before.... it's a bit scary... but i have him as long as we are together we will be all right Miriah

ok i am thankful for alot of things... but i am most thankful for my boyfriend... and my dad... and my brother and the fact that i am still alive... i am thankful that i can look myself in the mirror and like what i have become Miriah

ok so maybe the boys will be friends again.... Home dude is on his way to see my boo..... and take me home.... yay maybe a mistake again to talk to him but yeah we need to resolve this shit right?

well i have spent the last couple of days in pure bliss... i really enjoying my days with him.... he is amazing and he doesn't even know it ..... He cooked me dinner today.... it was so good... i loved it... ALOT well i am gonna go spend more time with him... SO peace OUT Miriah PS what do i do when i come between a group of friends because they all want to be with me but i only want him... i hate seeing him upset... it hurts me greatly

OK so i spent the whole day with him.... and i may see him again tonight... lol to drink of course.... sounds fun drinking does.... maaybe jesse will actually come here and maybe i can spend the night with him again.... it sounds like great fun.... ugh if they do get me i got 2 hours to get ready... they showed up at 10 last night.... then we left at 10:30.... to go to pick up a friend... it was greatness.... until my friend decieded he wanted to be a dick... but eh who cares right.... well i hope my day countinues for the better Miriah

My dad's girl friend is such a bitch! i am an adult and she has no right telling me what to do in my house.... grrrr i hate her anyways... i talked to him last night... i really wish he were here... it would be so great... i talked to some of my friends today and i have decided... that when the 1st comes around... we will go and stay... and it will be fun... as long as he does the cooking... i can't cook at all.... well i gotta go for now Miriah

ok so i am like totally bla right now... mainly because of this... me (11/17/2008 10:23:53 PM): baby.... him (11/17/2008 10:24:05 PM): yes? me (11/17/2008 10:24:18 PM): you have me.... me (11/17/2008 10:24:22 PM): i have you.... him (11/17/2008 10:24:35 PM): i want you here....or me there him (11/17/2008 10:24:55 PM): i want to be able to hold you...and i cant coz your at your dads me (11/17/2008 10:25:10 PM): well... you are allowed over me (11/17/2008 10:25:39 PM): baby... me (11/17/2008 10:25:42 PM): i miss you me (11/17/2008 10:26:00 PM): when we go to your mom's that will be my happiest time me (11/17/2008 10:26:06 PM): but how long will it last me (11/17/2008 10:26:11 PM): i can't come back here him (11/17/2008 10:26:32 PM): i dont know me (11/17/2008 10:26:39 PM): ...... me (11/17/2008 10:27:02 PM): if we decided to leave from there which may happen i'll have to go to texas me(11/17/2008 10:27:27 PM): so yeah him (11/17/2008 10:27:38 PM): yeah,i can dig that,but i dont think i will leave there for no good rreason me (11/17/2008 10:27:55 PM): so are we actually going to stay him (11/17/2008 10:28:15 PM): if you want to,i know im going to try and make it work me(11/17/2008 10:28:26 PM): i just wanna be with you that was only a little bit of a very serious convo.... there was alot of i love you being slung around... what sucks is when he isn't right next to me... or atleast at the same place i feel so alone... and it sucks i can't help this feeling.... and i'm glad he is there for me i love him what can i say Miriah

Ok.... so i think that maybe just maybe i am losing my freakking mind.... either that or this is all a dream.... my mom and dad happy for me.... What!? there is no way.... and my friends love him... omg... i have never had everyone i care about like my boyfriend... EVER!! it's a nice change... i wish i could stop thinking about how much i miss him.... He doesn't even know how much i care... or maybe he does... anyways... i love him.... i'm officially moving to missouri with him even my mom is helping get us there.... and she wanted me to live in texas with her,,, it amazes me... how happy she is.... She said she knows his mom.... and they get along... WOW!!! so yeah.... my mom has no problem with him or his family... it's great.... my dad though.... he thinks of me as his baby... i'm the oldest.... but the ONLY girl.... not counting my step sisters... i have 3 step sisters 7 step brothers a half brother and a biological brother.... i am the oldest girl.... the secound oldest of.... 13... you know counting me..... that's alot of family right there.. lol well i gotta go... it's night time... i'm gonna go battle with myself to go to sleep Miriah

so i talked to my mom... she is so happy thank god.... i miss him still but tonight will be better.... i swear

ok... so today i am listening to..... erm love songs.... hint hint... How do i tell my mom... that i'm not gonna live with her... ugh... you know... it's hard to say mom i'm not gonna live with you.... i am gonna move to a different state... and live with my boyfriend.... and his mom... yeah... this should be fun... ugh

ok so i am fixing to get picked up... I talked to him today... he called to say i love you... and get my dad's number.. cause that's where I will be... It was so sweet of him... but... he didn't say much... was kinda braging about me being his girl... to the people in the room... and then it was well i love you bye.... should i be disappointed in him for braging and talking shit.... or should i let it go.... she i explain to him that it bothers me... i am so confussed about this because he deserves to brag because in this society we are a strange coulpe... often my friends ask why him.... but i don't generally go for looks... and if he would just cut his hair he would look great.. then maybe my friends would understand... anyways... When i was flipping threw the t.v. channels the other day i noticed... how much stress comes from what's on tv... i don't know but just looking at how great the people on tv look..... it puts alot of stress on people like me... you know the ones with the low self esteem... i hate it.... tv should put normal people on there... you know people that aren't made of plastic... wearing make up 24 7.... the ones with real life stories.... the ones america forgot...

ok i am feeling a little better... basically because it's daytime.... day is always easier then night... today my dad is gonna get me so i can go eat dinner with him... then i am moving back with him for a few days... ok weeks... My dad... he's a difficult man... but aren't all men... isn't life ironic.... when your a teenager... you get so happy... then so sad all the time.... my mood changes are a bit difficult right now... during the day i am generally happy... i mean the sun is up i'm awake don't need to do much but the usual... but as soon as the night comes.... it's like hey... i am alone... when he isn't there i can't smile.... it's all good though... because soon i will b e with my best friend... my brother.... playing video games and chilling... it's gonna be a blast! here's hoping all goes well Miriah