i think that really good dreams are just as horrible as bad ones. when you feel so good for a little bit, just to wake up miserable that nothing was real. the doctor told me that i was supposed to sleep better, and have better dreams, but i dont really like it all that much. i used to not dream so much, and when i did, it would be stupid and short, meaning less. but last night was different, and i can still remember it at 1:23AM the next night. basicaly - i was with a group of people. some i didnt know, others- fed, aleja, martin, people from camp and school. and we were at this place. it was like a museum, but it was HUGE and you could live there. there were SO many people around my age there, and it was sort of like a camp, but i might have been visiting. so i was in a group of about 15 people and we were on this awsome roller coaster, having so much fun, but then we had to get off and go to lunch, but the guy told us we could come back right after. so we went off to eat and all, and i might have been with peter. so during lunch, there was a concert going on in the arena area of this place, and our group went. the croud was HUGE and there were thousands of people. we were waiting for the concert and fed and aleja sat down. aleja next to me, and fed behind me. and i really wanted to sit with fed. but fed told me that we couldnt, because we werent going out, but he still loved me and was sorry. aleja was being such a fucking bitch and at one point i slapped her... she didnt hit back, and i was surprised, but the concert started. so i was more interested in the fed ordeal the concert, and really wasnt paying attention when i remembered that we told the roller coaster guy that we'd come back. so i yelled to everyone to come back with me, and they just ignored me. then it changed a bit, and was that night. there was a dance, or some kind of get together thing, and everyone was getting ready. so i was getting dressed with lia, and we had to go to a hotel to get something before the party. so we were driving in the car on the way there and there was a group of guys loitering around the >get this< recreational hall>from bluestar, lol that must have been my idea of a good place for the party< and i saw fed there dressed really nice and his hair was fucking gorgeous. so i got pretty sad. and then it changed completely to me being on the cruize getting ice cream with jupiter, but that was a memory... well over all, it was such a nice dream and made me pretty bitchy most of the morning. so anyway, today i got my digital camera >YEAY< and was having a blast with that. i wanted to call fed ALL FUCKING DAY, but last time i called, aleja told me that i had already called 10 times that day, and though i knew that i had only called twice, i'm obviously bothering his family, so i'll just wait and see if he wants to call me. i really hope so, but he might think that i'm at my dad's again. hes going away soon, i wonder if he'll call to say happy christmas and good bye. fuck, i still have to wrap everyone's gifts and christmas is TOMOROW. mehhhhhhh! i got grace, camilo, sarah and lia the same thing, but i think they'll all really like it. I HOPE! anyway, well its 1:38 and i need to sleep. ♥