i know i havent written in a while, but so much has been going on. last week i had the play to worry about and i only messed up once, AND no one noticed! i brought my grades up to an A, three Bs and two Cs. NOT GROUNDED! yeayyy. two days ago i had another incident and was rushed to the hospital. only this time, it was not my fault and i had a cyst and fainted. so now i'm good, a bit shaken and tired still, but happy. i've created a deviantart, but nothing in it is worth viewing, so i wont post the like, but i hope that i'll get a bit better. me and fed DESTROYED meinie's myspace. yeay. oh, and today after school, i'm going home with fed, and am staying there untill seven or eight. we're going to watch a movie and set up our myspace. he looks really good today. matthew has been missing in action for a few days now, and his poetry is always written in code, but i'm slightly worried that something bad happened to him. i'm not going to get too worried though, there is no point while he is such a strong person anyway. so i dont really have any new pictures to post, but i put something else. i hope i'll have a chance to write more often. ¢¾ i leave tonight [tell me when] i have 32 minutes to write this. i'm desperately trying to dissect my thoughts in a room full of cubicles. more like the labyrinth. i'm sticking post it notes onto a shelf, i'm breaking away tonight. i'm just a liar, and i'm just a fake; but it's you, old man, who made me that way. the boy in the room next to me keeps singing. he keeps singing these songs, like some how, inspiration found it's way into the depths of despair. i've got 29 minutes to write this. i plan on using my time wisely. i plan on breaking out tonight. she told me 'pack your bags, take what you need. whisper a prayer. say one for me' she didn't even cry about it. i'm glad she's coming with me. [love] i've got 27 minutes to write this. my lucky number. i've been waiting for 9 years now, and i admit, yeah, even i give up faith sometimes. hardly hard to believe. we're going to go to abandoned houses. and sleep on thin air. i wish you could live on thin air. but mr. tolliver said that you need love to survive. it's a good thing i met you, new years night. your initials spell some word, that i sadly have forgotten, but i've got my own meaning. we have our own meaning. after this week, there's not going to be anymore of this stress. after this week, it's going to be me and you. happy. dai = love. [sister] i have 23 minutes to write this. don't worry about me. i'm always fine. there have been more pressing things. good luck with your boys. good luck with school. [brother] you've always been there for me. in my absence, i hope you make it home carefully. [don't forget me] i've dedicated most of my time to this. one-thousand and four time i have been looked at. one-hundred and ten times i have been talked to. fory-nine times i've been praised. but only twenty-one times have i spoken. i leave tonight, please, tell me when you're going to see me. "i've been bleeding barcodes from my eyes for weeks. i've been vomiting black and white for months" old words made new. i am recycling myself. like the time you grabbed me by the neck i was just a boy. she dreamt she was alone. she awoke and realized the awful truth. i have one true person, she's coming to help me. i love her. i have fifteen minutes. i have fourteen minutes. i am leaving tonight. i have thirteen minutes. i have twelve minutes. she hasn't spoke to me. i have eleven minutes. i have ten minutes. to be alone to her was a dream. i have nine minutes. i have eight minutes. when i wake up to you, that's when i will finally be glad i'm waking up. i have seven minutes. i have six minutes. i have five minutes. i have four minutes. i have three minutes. i have two minutes. i have one minute. i am.