i dont kno anything anymore

by crashandburned on December 3rd 2004, 12:00AM

u kno i should make this a private entry but i really dont care and there's no mood for how im feeling latley im afraid alot im afraid i'll start liking john again which wont lead anywhere and blah blah to long of a story but it doesn't exactly mean what it says afraid of losing kristin afraid of loseing erin and stefania afriad of not loving any one or being loved of not being able to pick myself up if i fall afraid that just everything will crumble out from under me that my future will be worse than the present afraid of losing everyone i love afriad that i wont be happy again b4 i was sad but now im just blank i'd actually rather BE sad afriad that skiing will suck bc if dan and john and cody ignore us or that it wont snow that ill just be there and no one will notice and one day ill just dissappear w/out my choice some ppl may think this is like suicidal or something but it truly isn't it's just that i want to just leave this time and go forward when its better i kno too much about hte world and the hardships i just dont wanna deal w/ it anymore and i just want to be HAPPY

Read 11 comments

It seems to me that people are unhappy because they fear of what may come to be if they truly are satisfied. What is there to work for if you've done it all? Being afraid is only human nature. You have every right to be afraid, upset, angry, and any other emotion you can possibly think or feel.

[Anonymous]

You're very welcome.

I don't believe in God, or any God for that matter. I have no religion, but that does not take away from the fact that I want to know what Christmas is about. I understand where presents come from, the three that Christ supposedly recieved, but that doesn't mean everything has to be so capitalist and commericialized.

Love is a beautiful thing, but very rare.

I've only come across one person who says he truly loves me, and all contact was taken away. I must wait two years to be with him because of where he lives and where I live. The distance hurts.

I've only expierenced it through words. We haven't seen each other for years, and years, ect. It's upsetting..and hurts so bad. An internal hole remains until I can be with him.

In two years..our distance kills.

I am willing to wait for him. He's the only person who has truly influenced my life and meant something to me. If I cannot hold out for someone of that nature and quality, I don't deserve the right to be here.

The hole in my heart is a constant reminder of our distance and the fact that we cannot be together..it's just really painful. I still manage to get up everyday, and so does he. As long as we're both breathing without the assistance of a machine, I guess I'll be okay.

you prolly dont want to hear from me but...im sorry you feel that way...but dont worry about the future or the past....focus on the present and whats happening NOW....youre life will be easier and it should make you happier....i should prolly follow my own advice but I cant do that..

the way you feel is all my fault...

I'm here for you.

Always.

-Sisters for life

[imnotokay]

Don't be afraid! :-) You just gotta make the best outta what you've got NoW (yes I know that sounded cheesey, but too bad :-p) And I'm being serious. Just keep your chin up and things'll get better :-)

Your dear Sfan loves you dearly! :-)

PS. SMURF VOMIT! =-O

Bird, Moose, same difference. IT WAS WRONG.

I'm going to have nightmares about it.

How do you feel now, HUH!!?!?!?!?!?!

-with all the love in the world-