well, i just woke up
i have to go to work soon
my usual saturday morning.
i haven't written an entry in exactly 1 month
i dont know why
maybe i'm just being lazy lately.
brad broke my bed.
so im currently on my matress,
located on the floor.
its real fun =D
i currently have four fish
illidan, roland, francois, and hadrienne.
they're amazing, and cuteys.
i love fishiesss.
i went to new york city for the first time on monday
it was pretty amazing.
you can click
here if you want to see the pics, ok?
on wednesday we had an ecology field trip
it was pretty fun
me billie and emilie got freakyyy
I CAN GET MY LICENSE ON FRIDAY!!
im so flippin excited, you dont even know.
aghhh!!!
alright, i gotta leave for work in 20 minutes
so i better get dressed =D
ilu all.♥
vlaad died today.
the fish that brad dropped on the floor.
i guess he got ick, or something??
i didnt know it at first.
i thought some of the fish in the tank
at the store that he was in
just had some white spots and that was normal
i didnt know it wasnt
until vlaad started getting whiter by the day
and then he went paralyzed on his one side
so i had to put him in his own little bowl
because he kept getting sucked into the filter
and then blasted out into the side of the tank...
and he died alone.
in his bowl. =(
im a horrible mother.
i dont deserve to live =(
brad stayed for 2 hours and luvd me while i whimpered/hated life.
and yeah.
so i love him.
♥
today was amazing.
me and brad hung out
he brought me presents
a care bear
and a talking huge R2D2 that made my life.♥
then we went to lyndseys to visit her for her birthday.
then me, her, brad, and max
all went to see Stay Alive in Dickson City.
after that we went shopping everywhere
i bought a fishtank
and two fish at PetSmart
im so excited!! i love fish
they're names are Jessebelle and Vlaad.
and they're my life.
Stay Alive was a cute movie.
I liked it.
we also went to boarders for like 19219 hours
and i found this amazing book
called Death Scenes
and it was all these crime scene photos
i was happyyy with it.
but it was $20. and yeah.
everything hates me. i was broke.
i even had to borrow $5 from lyndsey.
on HER birthday.
on tuesday me and lynds are going back down there
we're going to Best Buy
so she can get the new Atreyu CD
so that should be fun♥
we have good times.
ok, well its 10.
and im dead.
and im getting sick =(
so i'll write back here [hopefully] soon
i've missed you all♥
oh, and a thought that upsets me;
if my mom hadnt been slow
and waited forever to get my phyiscal done
i could've gotten my license tomorrow =(
ohhh i fear may 5th will never come...
wow its been a while.
im sitting here watching freddy vs jason
and feeling pretty sad.
i dunno, i was supposed to spend the night with brad
and i like made him dinner and stuff
and i guess he hurt his ankle so he just went home
but like, he didnt even call me or anything
so i just sat here waiting for 3 hours like an idiot.
i know its not his fault he got hurt at practice or anything
it still just kinda sucked for me, thats all.
so yeah. hi everyone.
alright.
so i have a little story to tell.
theres this boy im dating
his name is brad.
and yes, i love him.
i do.
soulmate?? most likely.
im prettyyy happy right now.
happier than i have been in long time.
and its because of him.
thats how amazing he is. yupp.
i know. you're jealous.
you should be.
ohhh boy.♥
and i totally said Crash was amazing in my last entry
and waddya know??
it wins best picture of the year.
uhhh bitches uhhhh.
i got a 103 out of 104
on my english speech
that i wrote that day.
that made me happy
i think brosious just loves me
because he spends weekends at hotels
with my boyfriend??
that pretty much explains it.
i wish i didnt mess things up
with my friends so much.
that'd be pretty cool...
i'm going to elk mountain to ski on friday
its the last ski club trip of this school year
it makes me saddd
but logans going, and i think ben is?
so all my jr high bffs will be there
and it will be mucho gracias funnn
im excited for that =)
my [lyndseys] mom made no bakes
ohhh geezzz life makes me happy on days like these.
so yeah.
i cant think of anything else to say.
ily all??
i cleaned my room
its so NICE and shiny.
im spending the day with brad tomorrow.
alone.
we'll see how that goes...
lynds was supposed to come over
but she didnt. so that sucks.
Crash is one of the best movies
that ive ever seen.
rent it. or be sorry. kthx.
♥you all.
its wednesday night
tomorrow we have a 3 hour day
which will probably get cancelled now
because we're supposed to get snow??
but brads coming over
and i love his sweet nectar♥
so either way IM A WINNER
tonight i went to tunkhannock
i got new eyeliner and lipgloss at eckard
along with this SWEET
purple dinosaur
its supposed to be an easter basket i guess??
but its a purple brontasaurus [my favorite]
with cute polka dots all over it
and then theres a dent that makes
a basket in his back
and hes stuffed
so im keeping him on my bed
&& holding my remotes since i always loose them
TOO FREAKING CUTE.
then at fashion bug i got an awesomeee
pair of white sunglasses
with cute tiny rainbow rhinestones
on the sides.
adorableee.
if i take a pic i'll put it up =)
schools boring.
i got scheduled on monday?? i think.
here are the classes i was hoping to take:
AP History
AP English
CP Chemistry
Trigonometry
Painting and Drawing
Spanish III
Anatomy
and Psychology.
of course, my class had to be pretty much
THE LAST FREAKING SOPHOMORE HOMEROOM
to get called down there. naturally.
so the anatomy class was filled up
but they had enough interest to open up
a second period of it,
so i got in after all which made me soo happy
you definitley need anatomy to be a coroner.
then painting and drawing was all filled up
so i decided to take graphics,
which ive always wanted to be in
but NATURALLY graphics and AP English
are in the same period;
so i had to give up AP English
in order to take Graphics.
so; in conclusion
everything worked out
except im not in art, im in graphics
and im in CP english, not AP.
i only have 5 study halls next year too
which kinda sucks since
everyone else has 8.
but i only need to get 4 credits my senior year
and that im definitely excited about.
alright, im done talking about scheduling.
im soo tired
and my skins all dry
since i had to shave for swimming tomorrow
well, and brad of course
because he picks on me if my legs are prickly =(
OK OK.
goodnight guys. love you♥
Crown0fVermin: I LOVE IT WHEN YOU TOUCH MY NIPPLE!
my boyfriend > yours, sryyy.
i just got my futon
its prettyyy cute
i need to go to wal*mart now
and get it some pillows
and maybe some more for my bed, too.
never enough pillows♥
last night me brad lyndsey and max
all hung out at my house
we had funnn
we watched porn together hahahha
and then we watched some Constantine
and some wrestling
we were home alone so we just went crazy haha
....not sexual crazy.
jesus christ, pervs.
i hope brads coming over today again
i dont know if he is or not;
he wants to say home all day and play WoW
...thats all he does with his life hahhaa
IM FORCING HIM INTO CIVILIZATION.
ive had a really bad headache
the past few days.
i dont know why, it sucks.
hopefully it will go away =P
hmmmm what else. nothing, i guess.
i have to figure out what im going to do
for my make up speech in english.
i need to do something original
its just how i am.
alright, wellll im going to sit here.
do nothing.
maybe bounce from my bed to the futon.
yeahhhh. love you all♥
brad and brady came and saw me again tonight
they come pretty much everytime brad has forensics
its nice hanging out with them
even if its only for like a half hour =P
tomorrow im going out with lyndseyy
im exicted i havent seen her in a long time
that WHORE.
trying to escape me =D
aw, brad just mentioned something about saturday
so i guess hes coming over later on
hopefully we can rent waiting
since last weekend the movie place didnt HAVE IT
ohh free movie mania.
you're lucky i stay loyal...
♥
*5 minutes later*
CHLOE'S AT MY DAMN WINDOW AGAIN
WITH HER RETARDED MEOW
I WISH THE WHORE WOULD TAKE A HINT ALREADY
GOSH.
i went back to school today
wasnt that fun
except me and des
got to teach lukeyy how to swim
i love that little porkchop.
its wednesday.
theres nothing on tv tonight.
so ive been sitting here.
ya.. good times.
im going to the mall with lynds friday
that should be funnn
i love her♥
i changed my layout
PIKACHUUU!
i should be doing 10 lbs of makeup work
buttt i really dont feel like it.
my comic belt fell apart today
it was only $2,
i knew its time was coming =(
it was still a sad day for me.
well, not much to say i guess.
♥loveyouall.
im sick.
real sick.
did i mention im sick??
my insides are having a civil war
and unfortunately my orifice is the casualty =(
all i do
is stay at home
watch grey's anatomy
run to the bathroom
come back
watch some more grey's anatomy
eat a bite of ramen
run to the bathroom
watch some more grey's anatomy
ETC.
the demon cat keeps coming to my window
and whining
and whining
and whining
.....
woe is me.
i miss brad.
hes cute.
i hope he visits me tonight;
that'd be nice.
i think he will
even if its for 5 minutes.
hes nice like that.
mmk. back to grey's.
love you all.♥
brad came over last night
we had so much fun
hes so cute.
we're together now
so thats excitinggg =)
i hope it works out.
i like him a lot.♥
billie and treg broke up.
its sad, but i just want her happy
plus now she can hang out with me more
since he was kinda weird about that.
and i love my girlfranddd♥
shes my fav.
okk well moms home with chinese.
i'll write back eventually.
love you guys♥
AND KRISTY'S LOLLIPOPS!!
those things are damn fine.
holy crap.
i just wrote a huge entry
&& accidently hit cancel.
FUCK LIFE.
sorry.
its just upsetting =(
happy valentines day guys♥
wow. so much going on.
i went to killington last weekend
and i had a huge panic attack
and cried for like four hours
and i guess everyones been talking about me
because of it...
whatever. i hate life.
kayla likes a boy
i dont know where it came from.
but yeah. =)
mmmmmm♥
well this is my first entry since Christmas
which means my first entry on my LAPTOP.
i named her caymen♥.
My baby is so gorgeoussss.
Christmas was good.
lots of fun, got pretty much everything
that i'd asked for.
the day after christmas
me marissa dan and ben got in a car accident
it was really bad
we flipped over and rolled down a hill
its amazing that we only got a couple scratches
its a good thing i was wearing my seatbelt
i never used to
not until brooke died...
i'm fine though.
don't worryyy
the sucky thing was
i was supposed to go to a Syracuse game
that night with Emily and Lyndsey
but i was so sore and stuff
i couldn't bring myself to go
but i guess Emilie went in my place
so that worked out fine.
on wednesday evening my stepgrandma died
i didnt really get along with her too well
she always seemed kinda snobby
but it was still sad...
mom went to the funeral down in Easton.
i didn't go.
funerals arent my thing.
on thursday dan's mom invited us over.
so me and marissa spent the night there
it was funnn
we watched the movies War of the Worlds
and The Island
i'd never seen either of them
but they were both reallyyyy gooooood
and yesterday, when i went back to marissas
so her mom could bring me home
and we watched Mr. and Mrs. Smith
we only got about 1/2 way through it
but it was really good as well
i didnt really have an undying urge to see it
but its a cute movie so far =D
i know this entry may seem kinda insensitive
going from getting in a car crash
to my stepgrandma dying
to what movies i watched this weekend.
i just dont really wanna talk about it anymore...
my brain is le tired.
plus its only 8 in the morning
i have to get up for work.
i have to call marissa in a bit too
i was supposed to go over there today
yesterday they invited me
but i forgot that i'd already told Lyndsey
i'd go with her to her aunts
plus i havent seen Lynds in two weeks
so our time has comeeee.
i feel bad for leaving Marissa alone
but i'm sure she won't be
that girls social like woah.
hmmmm what else.
oh its taken me all week
but i've almost got my whole CD collection
uploaded onto Caymen
seriously, i had no clue how long it would take hahahha
i spent like a whole day on it
and only got through like 10 letters
of the alphabet
....all my Cds arent in alphabetical order....
*eyes dart from side to side*
alright, well i accidently slept in
until 7:30 this morning.
my alarm went off but i had the volume
turned to zero. smooth kayla.
luckily since the accident i havent
been able to sleep that well,
i wake up every hour or so.
sooo at 7:27, the mood struck
anddd i realized i should be listening
to the musical bliss of a hardcore group
screaming at me to haul my ass.
ehhhhh. i'm falling apart.
i think im gonna go make me some waffles.
ohhh sweet waffles.♥♥♥
HOLY CRAP
TOMORROW'S CHRISTMAS EVE♥
i cant wait to get my laptop
this computer is getting crappier by the day...
ben got me a bob marley poster for christmas
at first i was kinda upset
because i thought he knew nothing about me
and thought i was like some stoner chick or something
but then when i got home and looked at it
its flipping HILARIOUS,
and i realized that anything that random
means the kid does care.
so that made me excited =)
max got me this really cute whale
its got like a sailor hat on
and its names Captain hahah
but i like it.
and he finally gave my Starting Line CD back
they've only come out with 3 new albums SINCE THEN
that titty.
oh, and he FINALLY gave me the poster
that he got me when he was on summer vacation hahah
its so amazing
its got like every letter of the alpabet
and each one has a little cartoon with a kid dying hahha
the one is like B is for Bertin who was mauled by bears.
stuff like that
its so me.
i love it so muchhhh♥
oh! and emily madrak made me an ornament
with my name on it.
she's so sweeeeeettt
and its red (my favorite color)
AND! she left the glue on mine
so it looks like its bleeding
she knows me so well
I LOVE MY BABYYYY!!
christmas vacation has officially started
so thats a plus.
im kinda bored and feel kinda shitty
but at least its better than being bored&shitty at school hahah
oh! and yesterday
me lynds and brittany ramey
went around to pass out cards for SADD
(Students Against Destructive Decisions)
and we had to go to the elementary
and on our list was Mrs. Copes, Ben and Dan's mom
and i've been there a few times and stuff
but i haven't seen her since i dyed my hair black
so i went in and was chatting up a storm
and she acted like she kinda knew who i was
but she wasn't sure.
and im like HELLO LADY IM MARRYING YOUR SON!??!
butttt whatever.
i might go over this weekend with marissa
i guess she invited me??
thats what marissa said.
she said she "wanted me to come over and have dinner"
hopefully she'll remember me when i show up at her house hahaha
brittany mowry called me a couple nights ago
to wish me a merry christmas
i love when brittany calls, even though i hate the phone
i just miss her so much sometimes
i found out she has MSN though
so hopefully i'll get to talk to her on there soon
her mom won't let her download AIM or some crap.
i dunnooo
but we were talking about Brooke
and how much we miss her
and how its like we have to take advantage of life
because we don't wan't brooke's death to be a weaste, you know?
and i really want to go visit brooke's grave
its her first christmas in there,
and i don't want her to spend it alone...
the only problem is that it's not marked
and i didnt get to go to the funeral
so i dont know which grave is hers
brittany said shes going to try and go
so if she does she'll try and bring me along
i want derek to take me up there
because derek's the one whos been there for me the most through everything with Brooke.
i know hes an ass sometimes,
and most females hate him,
but i dont know. me and him just get along
and i think i'd feel better if he went with me.
oh a happier note, i hope everyone has a great christmas.
or hanukkah
or kwanzaa
or whatever you believe in ♥
i'll miss you all over break =(
[p.s.]
i saw cry_wolf today.
omfg, it is AMAZING. buy it if you can.
and 40 year old virgin is really funny too, so check that one out as well =)
P.S.S
lmao. i just realized
that i had my diary set to friends only
and then to private as well,
so no one could read it.
...and i wondered why i didnt get any comments...
it should be fixed now,
so go back and read my last entry if you want
im sooo sorry hahaha
i love you guys♥
this weekend was amazing.
friday we had a snow day,
which was good and gave me time to
clean up the house
for estrogen evening,
which was on saturday.
i have never connected so much
with a group of girls.
i felt so comfortable with all of them,
like we've been sisters always.
i dont know how i feel alone sometimes
when i have friends as great as they are...
i'm one of the luckiest people alive
when it comes to friends♥
everyone got me such cute presents, too
here's the list:
billie:
a stuffed penguin
a jewelry kit
hair clips
mini nail polish/file
cute christmas tree tin
flarp!!
[okkk... how much does billie know me.
first of all, i love the penguin
and i named it Ben... *shame*
second of all, the hair clips have POLKA DOTS
my favorite things!
the flarp is sooo funny, its gooey stuff
and when you finger it it makes fart noises hahaha
AND! making jewelry is my favorite thing
to do in the world.]
i love you bilieee!!
thank you my twin♥
im so glad you finally came to my house
and kept me company on the love seat
im glad we're such good friends now
you make my days full of love and wetness =)
des:
a cute bag that looks like a belt
a care bare blanket
a necklace
[aww i love desss.
i cant wait to use the blanket in ski club
and the necklace is soo meeee
its got a little cassette tape
and then a little pink heart
and it matches the bracelet marissa got me]
i lovee ittt.
des you're my nanny FOREVER♥
im so glad you finally came over!
emily:
cute penguin pj's
a clementine orange
[hahaha one of my favorite
spanish words is naranja
anddd the pjs are so cute and warm.
they're purple with little wintery penguins omggg]
thank you emilyyy i love you!!
you're my favorite secret santa ever *hugs*
lyndsey:
a christmas pen
a singing stocking
cute ribbons
tampon instructions(??)
horror movie hits CD
a santa hat
[original]night of the living dead DVD
[i LOVE old horror films
and the santa hat says "ho ho ho"
because she thinks im such a WHORE]
you little biotch.
i love you though.
so much, best friends ALWAYS♥
emilie:
a killington picture frame
[she made the picture frame HERSELF,
its so cuteee and i cant wait
until we go to Vermont in February
and i get a picture that i can put in it♥]
i love you so much emilieee!!
you know i love things you do with your own hands *wink*
marissa:
light up earrings
a can of cashews
surprise burger king slushie
emo furby
[omgg the earrings are so me
they're green christmas bulbs
and when you turn them they flash lmao
everyone was so jealous when i wore themmmm
and there's this dane cook joke [we love him]
where he launches a chasew off his erection
and into his mouth.....
it sounds bad but its soo funnyyy
and we always laugh about it hahaha]
thank you marissa!!! i love youuuu
i'm so glad you surprise me on your way home from workkk
do it again sometimeee ok??♥
and from my sister:
kara
a teal old navy fleece throw blanket
a miami university hoodie
[no one knows why she got me the miami hoodie,
i dont really like them that much,
but hey- its a cute thought
i guess i like them now?? hahhaa]
i love my sisterrr♥
and from the satan my family considers blood related:
kathleen:
chocolate coconut scented shower set
[i dont even like the smell of coconut.]
thx?? hahahaa
ok. now that thats out of the way.
ben got me a christmas present.
im so excited.
but nervuos.
because i dont know if he'll like what i got him
i hope he does
marissa helped me pick it out
and she spends a lot of time with him
its this cute little stuffed Stan
from South Park
[he's jewish hehe]
dressed up as a reindeer
and you can use it as an ornament
or just cuddle with it i guess hahaa
i want to go to wal mart or something
and get him something else.
i wrote him a poem,
and i made him a few things
but i dont know if im giving him them.
i dont want to scare the kid *confizzled*
max said he got me something too.
so i wonder what that one is =/
i kinda miss him lately,
i dont know what to do.
because im not sure if im missing him
or im just missing being loved,
or what it is.
but i didnt get him anything
so now i feel bad...
but i got him Mrs. Captain Oats,
the best christmas present ever.
so i guess he still owes me from that?
*im lying to myself*
kathleen is being a real bithc.
today i stayed home from school
partially to do my world cultures project,
but mostly because i kept throwing up last night
like i would puke up stuff in my mouth
and then just swallow it back down.
which is grossss and i hate myself hahahha
i dont know.
but of COURSE
just because i stayed home now she is too
and shes just being a BITCH
shes like OMG SHUT UP GOTH
YOU'RE GOING TO HELL, ATHEIST
YOU DONT BELIEVE IN HIM
YOU'RE GOING TO HELLLLL
YOU'RE GOING TO HELLLLL
YOU'RE GOING TO HELLLLL [x42]
WHY DO YOU EVEN CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS
YOU DONT BELIEVE IN JESUS.
YOU'RE GOING TO HELLLLL
YOU'RE GOING TO HELLLLL [x40]
i mean seriously.
she thinks just from seeing the chart
on my myspace that she has a CLUE about my life
kathleen thinks shes such a strict christian
from going to church once in her life.
then why the hell is she
underage drinking, swearing,
and having premarital sex??
she has no right to judge me,
or what my beliefs are/arent.
she doesnt even know what being atheist means.
its not that i dont believe in god/the devil.
its that i just dont believe in much of anything...
im apathetic when it comes to religion.
if there is a god, so be it.
i dont think he'd hate me for being myself
i'm not a bad person.
i dont intentionally hurt others.
and if there isn't a god, so be it.
i'll spend my life being eaten away by insects
buried six feet in the ground.
at least when i was alive, i enjoyed it
and didnt conform to rules
that didnt make me any better/worse of a person in the end.
and another thing,im NOT goth.
she doesnt even know what goth is.
3/4 of the people who throw the word around
dont even know what it means.
especially 12 year old girls
who call themselves goth for owning a GC shirt.
goth is a whole culture.
yes, part of it invovles dress,
but its so much more than that.
just because my hair is black
and most of my clothes are,
doesnt make me goth,
and doesnt mean that im pretending to be.
i respect goths, i get them and their lifestyle
but im not one of them, and dont label me.
ughhh i feel so horrible.
christmas is what??
5 days away.
and look at me, seriously.
i feel like im in the middle of the depression
all of a sudden...
i think maybe im getting too used to my medicine
that or maybe everyone else is just
being more judgemental/vocal.
i dont know anymore.
i just wish people would get lives,
and stop obsessing over everyone elses...
oh, and i set my diary to private.
why, you ask???
i dont need to be judged anymore,
and im pretty sure the people
who are currently on my friends list,
[hopefully] know me well enough not to♥
[EDIT!]
im going through all my old pictures
and uploading them to photobucket
for when i get my laptop,
and i found some cute ones of me
back in the day:
makes me miss being blonde
awww my favorite♥
why the crap do i sit in laundry baskets?
and, finally, my dog slipping me the tongue:
well i have no clue
how that last entry got there.
buttt it did.
and i am le sorry to everyone
who tried to read it hahahaha
well, shortly after writing
the lamest entry ever known
to myspace blog history,
here i am.
maybe i should post that on here.
but its so lame
i dont know if i want
you guys to see it hahahaha
even though you could just
go to my myspace and look at it anyway...
whateva.
speaking of myspace,
robbie, take a new pic
i still have that one
with half of your bloody face
up in my "who i'd like to meet" section
hahaha
alright well i spent all of my cash
at wal*mart a couple nights ago
but i am officially done christmas shopping
i didnt get my dad anything though
but whatever.
he never likes what i get him anyway.
he just leaves it laying around
until i eventually just end up
keeping it for myself...
today was officially
the first Elk Lake School District
snow day of the year.
we got like 8 inches, its amazing
they just plowed our road like 10 minutes ago
and its 10 in the morning haha
i kinda want to go run around outside
but its not that fun when you're alone
maybe i'll let my dogs out
and make a snowlady with them or something
that'd be le fun.
not as fun as making one on elk mountain
with the eighth grade love of my life...
but fun nonetheless.
im pretty excited for estrogen night
with some of the girls next weekend
i hope its really fun
i should probably clean my room today.
cleaning && snowladys wh00t wh00t!
i'll write in here soon [i think]
i love you all, 16 days until christmas =)