same mood as the previous entry yesterday was the best even the few minor things that went wrong like he dad took the keys and stuff but that happens and some stuff i wish i didnt say but that always happens, and there was stuff i wanted to happen but it didn't and im sorta glad but yet not but i understand we both didnt wanna screw with anything that we already had god it was soooo much fun but yet so horrible cause i knew it was the last and the goodbye was horrible i held out from crying until i got in the truck and i started bawling and my chin was trembling after the goodbye and stuff but i dont think he saw and i didnt want to let him go cause i knew it was the last hug for a while and me saying htat i would really miss him and he said that he would really miss me too it killed me like kristin said u want to kno but at the same time it makes it sooo much worse and last night i just wanted to cry and mom came in and wouldn't leave so i stopped and then i couldn't start and she thinks that a good thing but i just needed to cry everyday this week i've cried i dont think i've ever cried so much in my life and everyone says its alright that i'll see him soon which 2 hours isn't too far away that how far nick lives but still its a little different from ur brother than someone that becomes a part of you i want to go to the mall with kristin becasue if i stay home i know im not gonna be able to think about anything else and mom wants to be with me cause shes 'knows how im feeling' i doubt it and if she keeps me here and we got to the mall later it sorta defeats the purpose and it just gonna suck no matter what god it has to be something more than i'll really admit cause otherwise it wouldn't hurt so damn bad god all i had was graduation,party,his house for like an hour,cd shopping,warped and last night not nearly enough for him to leave damn i wish it wasn't this bad i kno i keep saying it i kno he'll be home soon and stuff but its until he comes home that its gonna hurt then when he has to leave again but i cant do anything but make the best out of it and i'll try god im gonna miss you so damn much