wow it seems like forever since ive updated. well ive been trying to fix my relationship w/ my two supposed best friends. today we went to this store and they were like oh yea u know thats so u pulling out the thong to get attention and i was like uh no hun thats not me thats her and i pointed to this other grl. then we came back to my place and it was 3 grls and 3 guys and then my 2 cousins came over and we were watching tv and they were like omg thats so u b. refering to the dumb/slutty blonde. then on the way to my house they got all bitchy about why i didnt tell the other grl to come and i was like dude shes fucken crazy and they were like no shes just outgoing and blah blah blah and i was like yo u noe what fuck it idc anymore. Lets go back...... a few days after my last entry i had to wait till 5ish at school for grk club so i went to study hall w/ some of my friends. jo one of the grls was like ok u noe wat lets clear some shit up i didnt noe wat she was talking about so i was like ok fine. so she was like i have mad ppl comin up to me telling me that u called me a slut a this a that and i was like i mighta said it in a jokingly way the way u say it about me. i was like ok fine i mighta called u a slut big deal we all day it about eachother and she was like ok well u noe what? what have i dont that i should be called a slut? sit on guys laps kiss a few guys this and that and blah blah blah and i was like ok i sit on guys laps too sometimes big deal and she was like yo ure attention hungry! i was like WHATTT im the shyest person how the fuck am i attention hungry? she was like well wen were walkin down the street u tell me to go up to guys and get their #s and shit and i was like yea okk ure imagining things cuz ive never said that. and then i was like ok u wanna sort shit out why do i have ppl coming up to me and telling me that u started going around telling ppl that i smoke cuz i wanna be cool and i cut for attention. she was like u noe wat i did say it b/c y else would u start smoking and u dont inhale i was like holy shit i have fucken asthma u wanna kill me before my time and she was like why do u do it then for the taste? and some other stuff which at one point i raised my hand to slap her but i didnt. then she was like u noe wat ure mad two faced i was like ok so are u and she was like i noe and im trying to stop and i was like u noe what were all two faced so shutup. and then all this other bullshit and then she was like oh well maria and christina said this bout u and i was like ok so i asked them and then they were like no she said it and now idk im trying to clear things up b/w me and my two supposed best friends and i could care less about the other one at this point. today i was hanging out w/ 3 guys and those two grls and it was fun man it really was. well i like one of those guys and idk i cant tell him cuz im shy like that and i as everyone else fears rejection. and he wont tell me who he likes which makes it harder on me in a way but iono....so now im listening to rock music and im dying for a cig and noones has or could get me which also sucks. oh yea and that guy that i used to like that kept telling me to chill w/ him and then kept canceling my friend is going out w/ and still hasnt bothered to tell me and she knew i liked him but w/e i dont care ive moved on....