i have to stop this habit of updating a few days then not updating for days or weeks or months. omg i finallyyyyyy did something with that guy from my previous entry. to give an idea of how i felt read the lyrics to the song everytime we touch by cascada its techno-ish..well im not even sure wat it is but here are the lyrics anyways: I still hear your voice when you sleep next to me I still feel your touch in my dreams Forgive me my weakness, but I don't know why Without you it's hard to survive 'Cause everytime we touch, I get this feeling And everytime we kiss I swear I could fly Can't you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last Need you by my side 'Cause everytime we touch, I feel the static And everytime we kiss I reach for the sky Can't you hear my heart beat so I can't let you go Want you in my life Your arms are my castle Your heart is my sky They wipe away tears that I cry The good and the bad times We've been through them all You make me rise when I fall 'Cause everytime we touch, I get this feeling And everytime we kiss I swear I could fly Can't you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last Need you by my side 'Cause everytime we touch, I feel the static And everytime we kiss I reach for the sky Can't you hear my heart beat so I can't let you go Want you in my life 'Cause everytime we touch, I get this feeling And everytime we kiss I swear I could fly Can't you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last Need you by my side ok well yea something like that...ok so he came over and he tried to "fix my computer" well that was the reason we gave out parents for him to come over. ok so after an hr or so we joked around and well yea i sat on his lap. i was being such a bitch and ignoring him while he has his arms around me and all this. he was being allll lovey dovey and i melted...literally...i honestly dont noe how i didnt just turn around and make out with him all night. i was playing solitare on my comp while on his lap and his arms were around me, all over me and well yea and he kept telling me to exit b/c "WE had better things to do" hmm i wonder lol so eventually i did and we made out for like 2 mins and then i pulled back and we just lay in eachothers arms till my doorbell rang. we were both like FUKKKKK lol. then i came back up and was like uh things are gonna be really wierd b/w us and he goes yea i was just thinking about that. so then the following day he told me he was gonna go out wit some grl and i got upset but w/e. then i asked him if he knew he was gonna go out with her why he even bothered with me his answer was oh its not like i planned it or anything and how it was just in the moment thats y it happnd and just stuff like that. with him its like he could be the nicest guy on the face of this planet and other days he could be the biggest jerkoff ever! the thing that ive only told one person since the kiss is why he did it? all these feelings came thru me when it happnd. my whole body went numb. it were as if time had stopped and it was just us. i wanna ask him if he got any feeling but i dont wanna get let down or anything. i wanna ask him if he kissed me b/c he still might have ANY feelings what-so-ever for me. but i cant. everytime i try to i choke up. and especially now that he has a gf. i cant ask him anything now. i want him to be happy i really do. when im with another guy he gets jealous or at least seems it. when hes with another grl, wat am i supposed to do? i cant do anything but tell him to go for it. my friend always told me that i liked the chase of getting a guy more than i liked the guy himself. this time tho, i got my kiss, i got my cuddling, i got wat i wanted, but i didnt want it to end....