Here's a message for you, you sick fuck.
Stop fucking playing with other peoples emotions
I'm not a steady person, I'll go fucking crazy on you.
It's not funny or clever to take information from other peoples shit and use it against them.
You're out of your mind and I hope that you get some help.
fuck all of you. If I died and the only thing left was this journal wouldn't you be sorry? Wouldn't you be fucking sorry that the last thing you ever heard from me was that I was stoned out of my mind? Or that I was bored and frustrated?
Fuck you. I DONT want to end up a lost memory.
I remember how I used to write I hate Kristen Colling fan mail in here. Man did it piss her off, and was I a pissed off little bitch. Mostly these days I'm overworked at claires and things fly by too fast. But I've been getting good grades.
Music Theory I - A
Aural Perception I - A
Piano I - A
Studio Class/Voice - A
Acapella Choir - A
Cadence - A
Private Voice - B
Bones Stones and Human Evolution - B
Yeah okay so I got a B in anthropology but what can you do, I had to sit through 2 and half hour lectures every two days. I mean come on. Private Voice is completely my fault too. Missing 3 lessons because I was sick. Cough Cough.
I've been smoking too much this year and I'm attempting to quit but when I tried the patch it made me throw up and I got what you call a "nicotene overdose."
I got asked to play this Showcase but I'm not sure if its a scam because they want 100$ up front and I can barely afford that so I have to check into it and call the better business bureau yada yada yada.
Theres more I'm sure, but I can't speak of it at this moment.
Adieu
HAPPY FUCKING 18TH TO ME BITCHES, GOD FINALLY
I'm in this house and i'm usually alone. I hate working but i like it better than shea 14, a lot better.
July 5th at the counter culture cafe
July 11th at the counter culture cafe
August 11th at Four White Walls
COME AND SEE ME BITCHES
I really don't want to move. My house is too hot, my mother is too far away and I don't have a job and am too young for the most of the jobs in the area.
There is no point in my telling anybody i don't love David J because its completely false. He is my favorite person, completely.
Buck 65
Eisley
Razorlight
Pedro from Napoleon Dynamite introducing Rilo Kiley
Rilo Kiley
MF Doom
Sage Francis
Mercury Rev
The Fiery Furnaces
The Futureheads
Good going you egomaniac.
P.S. it wasn't as amazing as last year but I still want to go back for a third day.
Admitting I have a problem is the first step. Maybe then I can get over it.
This will all be worth it next weekend.
NO MORE RESEARCH PAPER!!!!!
edit: Its hard to see your friends in pain, especially when you know what that pain is like, or you can empathise with it. I am so worried about them because I don't want to have to go through again what I have been going through the past couple of years. It should get me but it does. I keep thinking of new reasons why the situations should fuck me up and then it ends up fucking me up.
I think it was Mrs. Tutnick that brought it my attention. I don't think I've ever been too happy, but at least it was normal human insecurity. The past year has been an emotional trainwreck, just the whole time feeling like all that it is possible for me to do is give up. It's not only sadness and missing somebody who's gone. I have horrible nostalgia, jealousy, self-hate and just all this bullshit that is stupid for me to have because I am not that type of person. But I guess I am now. It's not on purpose, I just sort of had a wake up call and now I see whats going on.
fuck you matt, fuck you ryan, fuck you ganny
Yesterday was radiohead overload and I think I was in heaven
WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF. MY FUCKING RESEARCH PAPER IS DUE ON THE 19TH AND I HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE WHAT I'M DOING. AHH AHH AHH AHH AHH AHH AHH AHH AHH AHH AHH AHH. I AM SO GOING TO DIE FROM NOT GRADUATING BECAUSE OF THIS STUPID RESEARCH PAPER AND MY STUPID JOB.