so i got a txt off his phone last night well more than one god that was confusing to find it was someone else!!! didnt care that much then he comes out with call me and ill come see you sometime!!! oh god i dont know if i want to i wont be able to say no to him i know i wont but still i dont know if ill call him i txt him asking if he still wanted me to but he never got bk to me i dont know what to do i might call him i mean i can always hang up right?anyway what else to talk about? school is actually going really well and im managing to keep up with everything so im really happy with that i started to read Wuthering Hights yesterday im liking it lol mum says ill fall in love with Hiethcliff lol he seems like a grumpy man just now hmmm christmas soon i cant wait its going to be so good this year!!!aww cant wait till david is home...heather is back tomoro yay aww i miss them so much lol oh im going to call david soon so yeh i might call the other one at the same time ok well gotta go now love ya x x x

heya guys wow what a weekend didnt get any of my homowork done and cant be fucked doing it just now...so friday night i went to lindis that was cool hadnt been to a proper newtonmore party in ages it was good got home at half 3 woo um yeh then was working at 7 haha oh hayley wat a fun shift that was i was still half cut and couldnt do the toast so eddy had to do it lmao!!! then other stuff happened me and hayley found very very funny indeed!! yup then saturday night we went to kingcraig for the fireworks blah stuff happened with other people dont know what to think about that ... went to avimore met up with laura and that but i really wasnt in the mood for it then today i was supposed to go to kingussie to see bob but i couldnt be bothered hes a great guy dnt know what happened last night and well i like him as a mate but he reminds me of barry so i find myself watching him closer than i need to anyway was supposed to go get stoned with him today but i didnt have the energy ill catch up with him later i suppose...ummmm what else is happening wow i had some messed up dreams last night/today hmm very very strange indeed!!!! oh god poor people have got themselves into troule glad its not me this time im sure zoe wont do anything tho lindi!oh well im off got stuff to do bye xoxoxoxox

Hey guys!Well yeh its been a while i was on checking karins diary as usual and thought id give this a spin lol its strange looking at this again so many memories boy did this diary so many mistakes but anyway i think ive changed since i last wrote here ive certainly grown up and gotten closer to loads of people im happy as well ive had a few surprises recently nice ones and have had a great times went to glasgow with a couple of mates that was great went to see rooster oh yas lol met a few guys i like and yeh just had a great time aww lol ive missed this diary da da da da da trying to make karin guess im writing in it lol shes not gettin anywhere oh got a few gigs lined up him and fall out boy in january and then trivium in march woot cant wait lol!oh oh going to alannas b-day in a few weeks cant wait!!!i havent seen her in ages!! aww miss her!hmmm what else to write about oh well i got my anti tragus and my daith pierced and im thinking about gettin somthing else done when im at als went off the idea of a tat cant find anything i want yet oh well im off just now i might write again soon ... maybe lol love ya bye x x x

hey guys this diary has been a big help for me it has helped me through a lot of hard times. there are entrys in here that are my feelings at there most raw and vunrable there are comments from people i love and people i hate,there are comments that have shown me the truth in people and entrys that show the truth in me.there are song lyrics on here that sum me or my feelings up.and song lyrics that make me sad.to be frank there are people who know this address that i dont want to know how im feeling and what im thinking so ive decided to leve it for a while and start a new diary on a new site.and no im not going to make the mistake of putting the new addy here!ill tell the people who need to know, the new address ill check the site everynow and then if u want to comment then go ahead.but just leve them on this entry cause i dnt want to have to look through all my other ones. ill miss writing in here i love the layout of the site and you never know one day i might be back....anyway thanks for everything to all of you the ones that just read this every now and then, to the ones who used it to check how i was getting on, to the ones that used it to find out how i really am when i said i was "ok".to everyone thanks and good bye for now... x x x

heya everyone had to write a wee private entry becasue i needed to get some stuff off my chest i didnt want some people reading. so yes david moved to edinburgh today,me and carrie-anne went round to his house early this morning to say our last good byes it was sad but it didnt hit me till i got to school ill miss him more and more every day i rekon.at least i only have to wait a week to see him again cause im going down to stay at his for the weekend yay! so yeh about my mobiel phone mess up i think im just going to stay with the phone i ordered its pretty much the same as the one i wanted just not pink i think i could live with it in black! not much else happening at all,we are hosting a thearter group in the school on monday that will be fun even!our school is falling to pieces! im in a poetic mood just now i think im going to go and write a poem. love ya x x

hey everyone,lol before i start was looking through the current mood thing for worried and it has wet as a choice hee hee. anyway on with my entry. so she still hasnt admitted it or said sorry i wasnt expecting her to but for some reason i did think she would feel sorry about it enough to try with me to make our friend ship up but obviously she doesnt care at all i sent her a txt tellin her we could forget everything and that our friendship means a lot to me but she never got back to me, i dont see why i should be the one that tries to make it up wen it wasnt me that did anything.its funny she is being all friendly with dukey surely if she was telling the truth she wouldnt want to be with him?oh well i shouldnt care any more. got my pics back from inme there great trying to scan them in but i think one of the cables has come out so ill have to try and put it bk in. i ordered my phone off the o2 site today and clicked the wrong one by mistake =( so ill have to cancel the order and do it again! oh well.hey bg i miss our chats mail me some time i tried to call u a few days/weeks ago but it was a strang ring anyway yeh just wanted to see if we could meet up. and now on to what im worried about.... DUKEY IS MOVING TO EDINBURGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Im going to miss him so much we have got so close and oh dear im going to cry!!!!

heya everyone not going out with barry anymore it was too far away,that i can deal with. found out the same night that we split up that he had had sex with rachel (a friend of mine) on the night of the ruthven dance. Its such a shame because neither will admit it. They think im stupid because not only was it obvious that they had and i knew that the day after just wasnt admiting it to myself but also they have both told friends of mine. They really really much think im thick. rachel also admited it to a friend of mine the other day and told them that she wasnt going to admit it to me. probible the most hurtful thing is that she let me carry on going out with him after it happened would a real friend not tell you that your bf is cheating on you? i mustnt have meant a lot to her if she can do this and not even care about it,really shes not even batting an eye lid shes just letting me believe it. coral (her little sis) just had a go, for some reason its all my fault now that we arent talking. The thing is wen i found out i wasnt going to tell rachel i knew because i didnt want to end the friendship we had, i was ready to let it slide and just not trust her as much,but sadly barry decided to tell her that i knew. Barry went in a total huff today wen i told him that rachel had told dukey,he wont believe me that she told him which i found quite funny to be honest.oh well better off with out him i guess. i feel fine today yesterday and the day before were a little hard. i only felt sick today wen i had to be in the same place as rachel but im sure that will get easier. i like it how she is making no atempt to talk to me about it at all oh well enough about that. we went to roller bowl today,it was good fun.we went because dukey is moving to edinburgh in 2 weeks. i used a slightly bigger ball than i had been using and ended up droping it and breaking my nail and cut myself...dnt know where i cut myself tho i just saw blood and then i wiped it off and there was no cut,strange!going to ness tomoro with dukey and steph think joanna is going to come aswell that will be cool going to get a new phone,going on contract £20 a month 500 txts and 50 minutes.ive been told its 500 minutes so that will be even better. going to have to get black trousers for school and work aswell seen as i only have one decent pair left...oh just reminded myself rachel still has my shirt and trousers will have to get dukey to get them bk.ill txt him later.i wanted to meet up with bg tomoro if hes in town. i called him but he never answered dunno wats up but maybe hes just got band practice or somthing im going to mail him after i write this.lol rach has just signed in and is not talking to me.see i told u she is making no atempt at all. oh well like i said she just doesnt care.it was great to spend time with heather and dukey today im going to miss them somthing awful!anyway better go and mail bg. write later x x x

Heya everyone its been ages since i last wrote sorry ive just been really busy.Went to london with rachel that was great gay ppl are so much fun,need to get all my pics developed. So yeh we went to stay at barrys the night we got back from london.if any of u dnt know rachel she is friends with this guy barry and they were sort of seeing each other, and well now im going out with him, turns out we both like each other. its been a bit wierd but now its great for some reason i think rach is happier well i hope she is. im really happy with barry im happy but im scared aswel...everytime i see him a fall a little bit more and that scares me so much because i dont want to get hurt, i do really trust him now he seems to really care for me. . . well i hope he does. This is so much better than it was with pete its not as superficial i can really be myself with barry and be happy, i think its helps that we have had a few arguments already it let me see how he really feels for me and how much i can trust him. oh well on other news i got my exam results back today. maths 1 chemistry 1 history 1 english 2 physics 2 art 2 french 2 admin 2 so yeah all credit just not as good as i had hoped i suppose. actually its hard to explain i thought i would have done better in some and worse in others. oh well thats me for just now keep commenting oh and ta bg glad u like the tune. x

Honey you are a rock Upon which I stand And I come here to talk I hope you understand That green eyes, yeah the spotlight, shines upon you And how could, anybody, deny you I came here with a load And it feels so much lighter, now I’ve met you And honey you should know, that I could never go on without you Green eyes Honey you are the sea Upon which I float And I came here to talk I think you should know That green eyes, you’re the one that I wanted to find And anyone who, tried to deny you must be out of their mind Cause I came here with a load And it feels so much lighter, since I met you Honey you should know, that I could never go on without you Green eyes Green eyes Ohohohohooooo Ohohohohooooo Ohohohohooooo Ohohohohooooo Honey you are a rock Upon which I stand yay mine and Barrys song!

Heya everyone how are you all doing? Ive been gettin along ok heard from bg a while ago that was cool let him read my poem i feel like going to write another today im feeling like it... so yeah not much happening got the london thing on thursday should be ok if rach still wants to go that is, going to go to ness on wed and get her pressie was wanting to meet up wit pete but hes probibley busy. lol total stranger added me on msn and claims i added him lol too strange anyway never mind he seams ok. i really really can not wait for inme oh my god its getting so close the eating and sleeping is going to stop soon im telling you then the nervous sick feeling then just not being able to wait!!!!! i cant wait its been too long since ive had this build up to a gig oh well im not n a very writing mood anymore going to talk to my strange london guy hee hee bye guys comment away i miss them x x x

"Love is always patient and kind It is never jealous. Love is never boastful or concided, it is never rude or selfish. It does not take affence it is not resentful" I have therefore never been in love. anyway thats me bakc from my "holidays" saw a few hot guys. can not be bothered writing it down i have just been think to myself about how lucky i am with what i have...everyone i know is so special and im so lucky to be part of thier life. i should have looked after past friend ships better and respected the people more.they deservded better. there is one friend that i lost sadly and i know its my falut i have just been reading over some stuff about them and im so proud of them they are doing what they want to and are getting somwhere with there life i knew they could do it and im just so happy they did. Iv been trying to think what i can do to be a better person ... i really need some help but i dont think anyone can help me anymore i need to do this myself.i have moved on tho with the whole relying on boys thing i dont need to pull wen i go out cause i dont need to feel affection from strangers when i know i have it from some of the most important people in the world,my friends. Ive been reading a dan brown book recently called angels and deamons its amazing andwell this is from the bible and i am not religious at all so just ignore the god bit. "God,grant me strenght to accept those things i cannot change," i supose this is how i have to handle what is happening with my life just now so i think that is enought for now im off to mend bridges love you all Eli x x x

heya everyone had a good day met barry and gordon that was cool hope my rachy is ok she deserves to be happy!!!poor dukey is a little bit left out! Titch didnt talk to me at the shinty but i like him so much and it sucks i dont know whats happening with peter i mean if hes telling ppl hes not done stuff with me he has then i dont know what to think...is he ashamed?embarased? fuck knows saw arron today!!!!yay *big grins* was txting craig not getting much sense out of him Not heard form bg in ages think hes been told off for emailing me oh well! only a week of school left now yay cant wait to see alanna again i miss her!!! oh well i cant be bothered writing in my diary anymore will write later love ya x x x

had such a great time at rem and totaly fell in love with them all over again so heres the words to everybody hurts im putting them up just cause i can! "Everybody Hurts" When the day is long and the night, the night is yours alone, When you're sure you've had enough of this life, well hang on. Don't let yourself go, everybody cries and everybody hurts sometimes. Sometimes everything is wrong. Now it's time to sing along. When your day is night alone, (hold on, hold on) If you feel like letting go, (hold on) When you think you've had too much of this life, well hang on. Everybody hurts. Take comfort in your friends. Everybody hurts. Don't throw your hand. Oh, no. Don't throw your hand. If you feel like you're alone, no, no, no, you are not alone If you're on your own in this life, the days and nights are long, When you think you've had too much of this life to hang on. Well, everybody hurts sometimes, Everybody cries. And everybody hurts sometimes. And everybody hurts sometimes. So, hold on, hold on. Hold on, hold on. Hold on, hold on. Hold on, hold on. (repeat & fade) (Everybody hurts. You are not alone.)

oh my god i thought i was done with guys being asswholes and for fuck sake im not even seeing this one!!!!!Ahhh im soooooooo pissed off just now!how dare he make me feel like this!!!!ahh im done with guys ahhhhhhhhhhh need to scream!!!!!!

Heya everyone how r u all? Lol this song is so cool!!!!i love it so much doesnt sound like inme tho! Anyway on to today im not very happy just now some ppl are not being as supportive as i have been with them and its pissing me off ill do another entry about it later but yeh its a little anoying. I dont understand why people can not be polite about things they have to make a fuss of it and be horrible well anyway moving on... Kimis birthday on sunday so we are going up to ness tomoro and then camping at hers at night should be great fun really cant wait but iv got to get organised! working at 7 tomoro so that means i gotta get up at 6:30 ahhhhh!!!! sorry STEPH i know i always write ur name wrong ill try and remember the right way from now on. Anyway just a little note to say hey and let u know whats happening but i gotta go get ready for tomoro! love ya x x x p.s. i got the 5th year prize for admin! happy but not at the same time!

Hello everyone how are you? Im doing good actually i never got suspended so that was groovy and im talking to an old friend again well actually 2 so yeh thats even better!! i hated not talking to them. Woo hoo listening to lynyrd skynyrd just now sweet home alabama its such a cool track "these wheels keep on turing..." aw wow love it need to turn it up..there we go. So yeh school is going well because we have so many double periods the days seem to go in faster so yay thats great!Im reading Chocolat for english but im not finished the davinci code yet so i cant really get into Chocolat yet will have to finish Davinci code first.Its really good but cant tell if its all the truth or all made up. Well suppose its a bit of both but then dont know whats what oh never mind its a good read i dont need to think about it too much. Aww free bird now such a sweet song ... yet to hear a certain someone play this.This is the song that i want at my funeral... its so amazing gotta get this on my mp3 player. So lauras going through a rough patch just now that she shoudlnt be going through oh i hate him so much i know u dont want me to hate him but i do doll hes a twat! Stephs gettin some stress aswell that she shouldnt be getting again a little boy is being a big twat! My girls will get through it im sure!!! wow this guitar solo is very very long! Anyway inme on the 29th of july i can not wait i really really cant wow ill get to see dave si and jo again yay they are soooo fit and im sure there will be many good looking glasgow boys about!Woo hoo got you spin me around on its so good!!! Got the big gay out before that its going to be mental!!! you guys should look at the site i dont know the address but if u just type in big gay out u will get it. Yay girls aloud are going to be there!!!!oh cant wait. So yeh went to the gym today that was cool not had a shower yet cause there is no hot water but ill get one soon. Going to ness on saturday that should be cool going for kimis birthday yay not been in ness for about 2 weeks!hope there are a few ppl in town cant be assed with dopey any more i dont want the cds that much and jake said i wasnt missing out on anything so its all groovy. Oh wel think thats everything iv got some homowork to do and i gotta finish the davinci code tonight so im going to go remember to comment guys need somthin to talk about. Love ya all x x x

Hello people well yeh im happy today feel like ive got someone looking over my shoulder so i suppose im ok with that. Umm got school tomoro really really scared about what mr B is going to do but im just going to have to deal with it hope i dont get suspended cause there is no way id be able to do higher bio if i missed any of it! anyway yeh i should really get my stuff ready i hope im not working tonight i think ill cry if i have to oh shit still need to do loads of ema crap i dont think my mum finished it ahhhhhhh shit shit shit im so disorganised oh well better leve u guys will write later x x x

I would like to visit you for a while Get away and out of this city Maybe I shouldn't have called but Someone had to be the first to break We can go sit on your back porch Relax Talk about anything It don't matter I'll be courageous if you can pretend That you've forgiven me Because I don't know you anymore I don't recognise this place The picture frames have changed And so has your name We don't talk much anymore We keep running from the pain But what I wouldn't give to see your face again Springtime in the city Always such a relief from winter freeze The snow was more lonely than cold if you know what I mean Everyone's got an agenda Don't stop keep that chin up you'll be alright Can you believe what a year it's been Are you still the same? Has your opinion changed? Because I don't know you anymore I don't recognise this place The picture frames have changed And so has your name We don't talk much anymore We keep running from the pain But what I wouldn't give to see your face again I know I let you down Again and again I know I never really treated you right I've paid the price I'm still paying for it every day So maybe I shouldn't have called Was it too soon to tell? Oh what the hell It doesn't really matter How do you redefine something that never really had a name? Has your opinion changed? Because I don't know you anymore I don't recognise this place The picture frames have changed And so has your name We don't talk much anymore We keep running from the pain But what I wouldn't give to see your face again I see your face I see your face THINK ABOUT IT

HEEYYYY!! well yay im back from france it was so amazing and hot and wow i wanna live there sooo much but then again really would need to be able to talk the language. So yeh it was a good trip but i dont really want to write about it cause i cant think of anything to say other than it was hot and really really good fun! will definatly go back but maybe not on a bus!hmm wat else to say...oh rach is planing a trip with me a dukey to the big gay out festival it should be fun cant wait if mum lets me go but i think she will...hmm oh yeh ross if thats u whats up with the one comment now and then i mean for god sake just mail me or sumthing cause i dont understand whats happening. I could have been a dreamer but there is no point ross just for once in ur life be straight with me please!lol i was so subtle there wasnt i lol anyway not much else to report other than i missed my mates soooooooo much it was unbelieveable it really was oh well better go talk later and ross mail me please love you all x x x

"hey thats just shite i wasnt trying it on wiv any1" YAY who would have thought that titch wud shine through this one aww so much happier now and got through it all by myself well ok laura rachel and stephy helped but hee hee didnt need the other one yay yay yay aw should have knowen better than to have gotten stressed out about all that yay so happy day today if i can get this ticket for inme ordered ahh ok cant get them shit shit shit shit oh ok ill sort this dont know how but i will! ok gotta goo love ya all xxx