well this past weekend i was over at my dads and it was extreemly boring. friday night i went to the OLA bizzarr thing with tessa n amy and some people that i havnt seen in a while and it was really boring. well anyway after that i went home and slept. saturday i was up in my room the whole day reading because im mad at my dad because hes starting to smoke again and its really pissing me off, and ofcourse if you know me ive already said something to him...a bazillion times and he doesnt even look at me and give me a good enough reason for starting again. he sees the tears form in my eyes when i tell him how much hes hurting me and my sister but he just seems to not give a shit. hes already had one heart attack and he promised after that he wouldnt smoke anymore, thats the smart thing to do you know. but little over a year after that he starts again and THEN, his car is broken for some apparent reason and hes bitching to me how much its going to cost him so im like "duh, well if you didnt spend all your fricken money on beer and ciggarets then you would have the money for it" dumbass then hes like "a mans gotta do what hes gotta do" im like "duh, your being really stupid" and went up stairs and read some more :) im such a nice daughter. but anyways i know that him smoking may calm him down since he might be stressed out and stuff but shit dont be stupid about it theres other things you can do...you dont need to smoke. atleast he does it outside...oh boy if he did it inside he wouldnt hear the last of it. i hate going over there. me and my dad really dont have a good relationship. i only see him every other weekend and thats if hes not 'out of town with dice to see her son down south' or somthing. i never get a good full reason when he calls, most likely mom picks up the phone and he just says he cant pick the girls up and he'll take them next weekend. we never really just sit and talk about things, everytime i see him he asks how school is and how my grades are and im just like good. then hes like anything new hapen latly and were just like not really. its just small talk. once in a while he will talk about mom how he still loves her but they just didnt work out, i really dont care. my mom made the best out of it, even though i strongly dislike her for making me her slave sometimes, i really do appreciate her and for going back to school after the divorce and making the best of it. she really does support us good. she makes sure we get the best of things and experiences she didnt get to have. when she was younger she didnt have half the things i do, living with 2 sisters and a brother. she walked everywhere she had to go and made the best of it. i really am inconciderate of the things she gives me sometimes, but when i look back i am greatfull even though i dont show it. i love my mom so much, and my dad just as much, i just guess everything in life cant go your way, you know? just make the best of it. and im not asking for pitty im just getting this out. cause i really do like my life right now. well sunday i went over to rishas and chillen over there till my mom came and picked me up with some KFC and we got our bags from dads and went home. later that night leah came over. then chris and his friend collin came over and we just hung out swam and watched a movie. the gay sister stayed downstairs for the fricken movie and pissed me off, then as soon as they leave, she goes up stairs. ugh well leah slept over it was fun overall. so...now im going out side to tan cause its a nice day. later tonight im going to leahs with some poeple and were camping outside, and she has a pool and it gets really dark in maine... !!YOUR GROUNDED FOR THE REST OF THE SUMMER!! haah, ill be good oh its the first day of august!!! two days till terris birthday, five for my sister julia, 16 for me!!!