Why it all leads up to pretty girl, by Sugarcult. It makes me cry, all the time. And I dont know why I always, constantly, fall in love. All my entries seem to be, is about love. But, I rather get it out, then keep ot bottled up inside."Pretty girl is suffering while he confesses everything, pretty soon she'll figure out what his intentions were about, and thats what you get for falling again you can never get him out of your head". Matt. He hasn't been on for like 3 days. I think he's avoiding me, or, spending his time with Chris, his boyfriend, oh well. It hurts. My heart hurts. I hate crying, I hate listening to this song. I hate everything about this world. I have a feeling, that tonight I'm going to cry myself to sleep. "Its the way that he makes you feel, its the way that he kisses you, its the way that he makes fall in love" All he talks about in his diary, is Chris. How much he loves him, and how much he cant wait to see him, touch him, talk to him. How much he needs to hold his hand, and kiss him. I want someone like that. "Its the way, that he makes you cry, its the way, that hes in your mind, its the way, that he makes you fall in love ..." What is WRONG WITH ME?! Why can't I JUST accept the fact, that he needs away form the puter. Why do I cry? Hurt, and look in the mirror, when all I see is a fake smile, and black tears running down my face? Its not depression. I dont think. I think, its just affection thats gone to far. To the point, where I can only think about him. And wanting him to hold me, and kiss my forehead .... cuddle me close... kiss away my tears ... I was just so happy ... he was mine. And now he's his. And I can accept that. I really can. And I'm happy .. that we're still together and all ... but he has a boyfriend too, and I keep forgetting that ... Anyway, today was good. Last night I was supposed to go to the mall, and see Ron. My fucking Aunt had a Migraine, so i couldnt go. Today I spent the day with Becca, and we went swimming and stuff. I got a headache from laughing so much. Seth is alright, and I'm so glad... I was getting seriously worried about that boy ...