Crying. Scared. Worried. Its everything a friend, is. I'm scared for Jesse. I dont... I want him to be the guy i met before he had his heart broken many times. i know thats hard ... being diffrent, is hard. He wrote a suicide letter to everyone he loves, and cares for. Of course I'm only an online buddy, but I have compassion like that. I love him. Much more then he knows. And he scarred ...me. I wont go further into detail ... And, the last thing I said to him, was that I love him. I would really like Matt, or Seth, to be there for me right about oh, I'd say now. I called Seth. he has to go. I have a feeling I'm gunna do something stupid, to equal out to about Jesse's pain. And suffering. I hope Avery talks good care of him ... I know he loves him. More then anyone. ... Becca broke up with Chris, and she blamed it on me? How the hell, do YOU break up with HIM and blame it on someone else? I dont get it. Chris went practically insane on me on the fone. Bottling up his emotions, Like I am now, and Rhyming, and singing RAP LOVE SONGS. Which is SO not like him. I'm going to do something I'll regret. I know I am. And kevin will then get mad at me. Not mentioning Seth. My savior. And matt, if whenever he gets on, and finds out .... Lets not go there. Please. I feel horrible. Not to mention, everyone else feeling 1000000 times worse then me. Anyone ever notice.... how DEPRESSING Amy Lee's songs are? HUH?! FUCKER x 1997463057503785809809345884787242365036457806347563872456783426! Damnit. Oka. I'm done. AND I WISH MATTS VOICE WOULD RID ITSELF FROM MY MIND GODDAMNIT! But thats oka. Because eventually, someone else will feel my hurt. And pain. And struggle as I am now. And everyone wonders, why I have mature so damn much for my age. I'm not supposed to be worrying about my friend dying. Or people being depressed. I dont like it what so ever. At all. I love them all to death, I sincerely do. But they need to learn I can try and help .... I know Jesse wont Listen, but ... I can try. And as for matt .... he isnt a hopeless case either. He's like me, in all ways. He just needs to be shown, people care alot more then he thinks. And isnt it funny, how I can give advice, but I cant take it very well? Oh well ... the thing called, "Comfy boxers, water, and a bed" whisper my name ... until tomorrow .... I think ... I hope... err .... bai. -Says ones last time- Matts voice ... get out of my head ..