Seth. The only person I cared for. Is gone.Again. He wants me to forget him. Nuh tuh. Not happening. Okay ... it just started when I wanted to lay on him. As a fucking nsister. I dont like him, anymore. ANyway, he said no, and as a joking "Fine then I'll go" he got angry. And he said he was going to leave. He told Keith. This guy, that used to be my friend but found more . something more in Seth. I called him ... and I said I didnt want to lose him again, he said I wasnt going to. I was SO FREAKING RELIEVED! Then, Keith starts IMing me. He told me not to to to my cimputer... I did. Keith started calling me names and telling me nto stay away from Seth. I dont want Seth hurt, or anything, so .... I said I'd go. I dont want to. I fucking dont. OKa, this man is the only one who knows how to keep my life together. I know, how to make HIM feel better. I just cant go through this again. I cried for 3 and a half hours last night.... I went to school, and everyone made it worse. Penguin man ran into a pole for me, and fell, didnt do anything. Chris tried to snuggle me, ... I used to be called snuggle buddy by Seth. Why does my pain evolve into something bigger, when he leaves? I understand he needs away time. Oh my god, I know. But if hes doing it cuz of Keith... I dont understand it. Im sorry matt for everything last night. Im sorry, to everyone I need to be sorry with. I'm sorry Seth, for being such A fuck up, and driving you away again. Please ... just give me another chance to prove to you... I'm sorry i'm a cryer, and i need to cry. And how my eyes hurt, and, how my heart hurts. I wont eat.. i REFUSE to. There isn't a need to. No, its not for pity, or attention, or ... to make anyone feel guilty, (Fucking Keith, go to hell) its just .. I cant BRING myself to. I'll try. I really will. I cant promise anything ... I'm at my uncles work, I couldnt concentrate at school. Everytime I looked up, I would cry. I would start to tear, and people were getting worried. Maybe im over reacting? Alliey may be right, when she says ill be oka. I dont know anymore. Last time I lost him, I almost lost myself .... and now that he might be gone again .... I might .. completely disinagrate... And, did you know that my name backwords is IROT? Im supposed to be miserable I tell you ...