blah blah blah...well...dang it's been a while since i wrote...actually typed...in this thing...i've been pretty lazy lately...depression...again...don't tell no one...shh...lol...well...my life has actually gotten excitin' again...i had a b/f for 2 weeks((1st one since tyler)) i broke up with him tho...he's a lil immature...and there just wasn't a connection... ok...i'll hav to finish this later cuz my mom is makin' me leave...hopefully i won't forget to come bak!! 1 or 2 hours later... ok...where was i...o yea...duh...well...so yea...broke up with thadd cuz there was no connection...stuck with majorly crushin' and reeeaaally wantin' cody...never got him...ummm...well...about a week ago a guy((david)) asked me out...and i said i'd think about it...wednesday i wrote cody a note askin' if he liked me and tellin' him that i liked him...he never wrote bak but he still talked to me...i found out that my so called best friend was talkin' to cody after i had asked her not to...got pissed of course...then friday there was a 7/8 grade dance...this is when it got good((see wednesday we started pact testin' and the teacher moved our seats so that we were in alphabetical order and lucky for me the hottest guy in our class got put right in front of me...we talked some...and flirted a lil...lol...his name is jeff by the way)) and jeff asked me to dance...twice...and of course i did...then monday i found out that jeff don't like me as much as he likes some other chik...so he didn't ask me out...but i still hadn't answered david so it didn't really matter to me cuz i was plannin' on sayin' yea to david...then tuesday night i was talkin' to cody and i had put "david...i gots an answer..." on my profile and then cody was all like "that answer better me a no" and all that crap and by then i had gotten the point that he don't like me like that so i was like the answer is gonna be yea and he got mad(sposedly) and blocked me...so i thought he was really mad at me((he really wasn't cuz he told my friend that he was just messin' with me...hate it))(((and thru all this i'm fightin' with rita)))well wednesday night i answer david and so now i'm goin' out with david...rita is pissed at me for no reason...i really don't understand what's wrong...she told me that i think i own cody and all that crap and that i'm obsessed((I DON'T AND I'M NOT!!)) and then somehow she turned all of this into how sometimes i don't wanna hang out with her even tho she always wants to hang out with me and i tried to explain why i don't always wanna hang out with her in a nice way but of course she took it the wrong way and got even more pissed((i told her it would make her mad but she wanted me to tell her so i did)) and so now she's friends with cody and cody ain't talkin' to me and i'm goin' out with david and i just don't giv a f*** nemore...i quit tryin' to make my life better and i quit tryin' to be open with people and i quit tryin' not to be shy...i will always be the grl in the bak of the room that won't talk loud unless she's with her closest friends...i don' giv a s*** nemore...and if i could runaway i would do it in a heartbeat...all i need is a place to go and i'm gone...