This has got to be, I notice quite blandly, one of the most miserable fucking entries I've ever written. If you don't want to read it, don't; spare yourself the annoyance. Assuming that anyone reads these entries in the first place. Some things have been weighing heavily on me lately. I was going to go to Youth at Twila's, but then realized that no one else would probably care enough to go, so I ditched that idea. School is such a drag anymore. I can't seem to focus on my studies, which isn't like me. I've never loved school, which is normal, but now can't even find the old motivation to do my work. And then that just drags me down even more. Not to mention that I just found some old comments from Mrs. Thomas's sculpture class last year. Saying I have poor work ethic, that I was mouthy, didn't get my painting done on time because of laziness..... if I remember correctly, I spent most of my time later in the semester I could have been working on it making little shoebox painting things for our art club fundraiser/sale at the elementary, since it was important to her to make money for the club. I worked just as much as the other kids in the class. And for all my time and effort I spent working on that painting, and how miserably it turned out, now I saw these comments.... yes, it was last year, but that's stuck to me now. And everyone will believe her word over mine, because my word is absolutely worthless. Hah. Imagine that.... I don't know. Even though I don't have class with her anymore, it just demotivated me about school this year even more. I don't know what's wrong with me. *sighs* There's always been something warped, something wrong with me; I used to just think it was my mother being paranoid, because I couldn't please her, but it's not. Particularly three people, 3 guys and a girl, have unwittingly proved that to me. It's me, my fault, and I don't know what I'm going to do about it. Well, I'm going to go to bed. I took a couple hour nap before supper, but I'm tired again. At least tomorrow is Friday. -Brittany