WOW... i forgot about this whole diary thingy-ma-jig, not really i just can't find the time but, seeing how it's almost summer and i'm sick of school i thought i'd take a break from it all so Patti's friend Mel is living with us over the summer and i helped her move in some of her shit today. this should be neat... i hope! it's going to take some getting use to considering that we tend to bump heads when it comes to certain things like CLOTHES... whore anywhooo... the last couple of days have been really weird for me. i'm questioning and second-quessing EVERYTHING! i don't really know why but it's really having it's tole on me. i'm so like mean and bitchy lately and it's not P.M.S. or anything like that i just need to work out my issues and eventually everything will be ok again... but what scares me the most though is that just about all of my problems narrow back down to something concerning Josh and our relationship i realllllly hope this doesn't turn into something bigger than it is right now but i can see it turning out that way i'm just really confused and it doesn't help matters anymore with all the old seniors being home again and how much i missed all of them and wonder what would have happened with if i had done things differently i dunno everything has changed and i feel like i'm missing out on everything it's like almost as if Josh is holding me back... ya know? well i don't. it's just really strange for me and i don't wanna feel this way anymore like i'm not sure if i love him so much anymore or if it's just because i've become so comfortable and accustomed to being with him that i don't know what it's like to not be with him??! i dunno if that makes any sence at all i mean, we're talking about 3 years with this kid it honestly feels like the world is passing me by... i dunno, i'll get over sooner or later -©-