I don’t even know where to begin pretty much my life has been turned completely upside down and all around. Everything is soo different but almost for the better...almost Let’s see...my summer started off Great! I was always doing something, partying, out with my friends, relaxing, soaking up some sun, and getting into trouble every here and there But good things don’t last forever ...as usual my world went sour because of that one boy Yepp, Josh. We had been sorta unstable for awhile then and arguing a bunch and then I didn’t know what I wanted because we seemed to clash more than we matched ...but that’s what we do It got really bad though when summer started...Josh would go out every night and get trashed and I’m not exaggerating when I say every night, the kid is insane. But whatever...so he would go out every night and not think to call me and tell me where he was going, who he was with, what was going on...stuff like that. And I am NOT okay with that at all. I am a very jealous girlfriend and I need to know all the details when someone goes out especially if I don’t trust him and if you knew Josh...you’d know exactly where I was coming from So yeah, I kept hearing all of these stories about all these girls and I was getting fed up. When he went out and I couldn’t get a hold of him I’d start calling all of his friends until I knew where he was and I could talk to him and then he would get mad && say (direct quote) "You are wasting my time out with my friends, so tomorrow when I have nothing else better to do you can finish you’re stupid fuckin’ bitching!” or he would claim that I just ruined his night and he was not about to be embarrassed by getting bitched at by a "nagging girlfriend who’s acting like his mother" Yeah he’s a real charmer Whatever...this happened a few more times and I couldn’t take it anymore so we had a talk and we decided that we DID actually want to be together and we were gonna start to put eachother first before friends and parties ...well just like everything else -THAT WAS VERY SHORT LIVED But anyways we were okay for awhile and then his birthday came up and I surprised him with a puppy and a whole bunch of other stuff like 2 weeks before his Sweet16 because I was going on vacation and would miss his party...things were back to normal before I left and I had no worries about anything So I left for the Ocean City July 1st with My Alexandra and that is a completely different story within it’s self! It was the most bittersweet experience ever...I fell in love with the Beach and I’d give anything in the world to go back there. I met the 2 best people ever too && had a blast with my bestfriend...until people started blaring up my phone telling me what Josh was up to. Yeah, nice. So then I didn’t feel like going out I just wanted to talk to Josh and see if all the stuff I was hearing was true and every time I called he didn’t answer or couldn’t talk long...that should have been my first clue! But yeah, so towards the end of my visit down there me and Josh got in a hugggge fight because I heard that he had sex with some bitch at a party and I was sooo heated and had had it up to here with all of the bullshit...but as usual Josh managed to turn it around on me and make it sound like he was hurt because I didn’t trust him and blahblahblah. Stupid me ended up apologizing and feeling bad for him and having a shitty last few days at the beach because I felt like such an asshole...GAHHH I came back to good ‘ole NewYork the 9th and I kept hearing all this shit and it was still bugging me so I figured I needed to talk to these girls that he’s supposedly been with ...I did just that but now I wish I didn’t SO THE CONCLUSION Josh fucked some Amy bitch- twice annnd hooked up with 3 of her bestfriends too... I swear to God my heart died that moment I heard those words come out of her mouth...my insides just melted away and within seconds: I was numb on the ground Empty. My baby just killed me I couldn’t believe it I didn’t want to It seemed so surreal That day I went to Josh’s and he didn’t know that I knew everything. He started off trying to deny it but then I called Amy and made him ask her why she would lie to me and he ended up buckling and admitting to it...I wanted to know the truth but I didn't at the same time. There is no good excuse for what he did...he tried his best to sweet talk me and tell me how it made him realize how much he loved me and he didn’t want to lose me I asked him why he did that to me and he said “I thought I was hot shit...every girl wanted me and shit just happened” I asked him how he could do that to me and he said “I was sooooo drunk...I wasn’t thinking right” I got all the details too... turns out homegirl was a virgin and one of the major reasons why they had sex more then once was because it didn’t fit the first time and he wanted to see if it would be any better...yeah! He claimed it wasn't even sex because there was no penetration? THAT was worth throwing away 3 years ...just to basically rub your dick across some bitch...???! Whatever...it was over right then and there. I took back the puppy I gave him and I still have him to this day and his name is Ozzie. I gave him back every single present and every picture. Anything that reminded me of Josh I put in a huge black garbage bag and threw it in his face. The plan was to not think of him and forget everything I ever shared with him...I didn’t even want him to be a memory I straight up wanted him to be a stranger A few days later I ended up meeting with an old friend, Jesse, and we just clicked. I hung out with him like everyday and he was really helping me get over Josh because he made me feel like I did when I was with him(but better). :) Josh hated him of course and for the first time in any relationship or lack of one that we had, he was finally acting like a protective boyfriend except he didn’t have to and didn’t need to and had NO RIGHT TO. Josh didn’t want me to have anything to do with Jesse and would call me up yelling at me for it. I was annoyed by it but at the same time I loved knowing that he still cared for me But of course, everything good I have has to go away. Jesse moved to NC for college like a few weeks later and I’m left with nothing again I’m just being occupied with a huge void I was so confused and I still am...I was with Josh for so long I didn’t know who I was or how I was supposed to go on without him because he was such a big part of me. I had forgotten who I am I ended up taking a break from it all and went to Ohio to visit with some family...I met some really cool kids down there with my cousin and was having a blast but then I get a call that Josh never picked up Ozzie when he was supposed to babysit him so we got into another huge fight...he brought up Jesse I brought up Amy, basically it was blown way out of proportion and then that was it. I didn’t hear from Josh again. I thought it would be for the best so I could get on with my life but I couldn’t go on not talking to him or hearing from him and then everyone kept telling me that he was still with Amy and when he promised me that he would never go back to her I shouldn’t care...he’s a scumbag GOD HELP ME! I went for about 2 weeks not talking to Josh and that was torture for me. I constantly asked about him whenever I talk to his friends and they all said that he was doing fine and that killed me because I wanted him to be as miserable as I was. And I was miserable...right when I was doing fine with getting over Josh, Jesse left and I was back to wanting Josh. STUPID SHIT HUH? Whatever, I ended up breaking down and calling Josh and ever since we have been trying to be friends. We hang out every here and there and talk like every other day. He doesn’t like hearing that I’m with guys and he has supposedly given up girls. Also Josh is allegedly not going to talk or hang out with any girls anymore until he can get me back because he still wants to be together and yeah. I don’t believe a word he says but if he wants to he can go for it. And I really like that he wants to stay involved in my life ‘cause now he’s realizing what he’s missing out on and that just makes me feel better! It’s so weird cause I can talk to him about anything as if nothing had ever happened and I guess that’s what I really need right now. Not for him to be completely out of my life just a different part of it -the friend part of it. As of now I’m trying to maintain some kind of contact with Jesse. I miss him sooo much and I think the reason why I sorta went back to Josh or felt that I needed him in my life again was because he’s not here to keep me strong and do what’s best for me...But I’ll be seeing him soon. I’ve planned a trip to go to North Carolina over Thanksgiving and spend a few days with him! I can’t wait!!! Oh yeah...my 2 friends that I met at the Beach (Jon&&Jason) came up to visit last weekend...wow, they’re amazing! I love them haha. They have the cutest little Philly accents and they helped me out with the whole Josh situation a lot tooo. I still keep in touch with both of them and when I fly down to North Carolina to see Jesse my flight stops in Philly for 2 hours so I’m going to meet up with them too while I’m there. I cannot wait to see them either...yessssssss-UH! So this is a really long entry and I’m sure all of you just love to hear about it...haha But something not so Soap Opera-like and depressing is that Cheerleading started and it looks like it’s gonna be a good season with the gals...Yeah, things have been going really good and I hope they stay that way cause I’ve had enouuuugh drama for this summer LaterGators -©-