So yesterday was graduation. Me, Tony, Dillon, Miranda, Katie and Heather all went together. My baby finally did it..he got his diploma! Through all the hard shit and all the obtacles..he made it! Im so proud of him. I wish everyone the best of luck in the class of '06. You will ALLL be remebered in the up most of ways. My birthday is in 3 days by the way:)

Junior Year is officially over..and I am now a SENIOR. Holyyy shittt. Well this summers ganna be a blassstt. Ganna live it up like theres never ganna be another one! Good luck to all the '06ers!

So 11th grade is almost over. This year has flown by so fast I can't even explain. Im quite sad about it because I look back to when I was a freshmen and it feels like it was just yesterday. idk..Im worried because I'm still not exactly sure what I want to do with my life yet and by now..I should know. Senior year is coming up so quick. I have about 3 more months and I'm back in school as a senior. Senior year is ganna go by so mcuh quicker too. I know it. Then collage. Then im an adult with a family? idk..i know it sounds crazy when its said out loud..but if you really think about it, its not that far away. Graduating is right around the corner and then I start my real life. I have to break away from my family short after and really learn to take care of myself. This sounds dumb..but I've honestly been pretty sheltered and had everything taken care of for me and I'm worried about doing everything by myself. right now..Im kind of not worried about tony because i have my own shit going on that I need to do. I have to worry about me and what im doing with my life more than I need to worry about his. Thats his job. I want to have a good life, go to collage, get a good job, have kids, have money. Idk..i have this dream life which might sound so pathetic, but I just dont want a shitty life. I want to work for a good one. Many people might not understand the way that I feel. It's hard to explain sometimes, but I just know what I need to do. Summers ganna be awesome. This is my last summer because next summer..i go to collage in august. ugh thats scary. So many things have happened this year. Lisence, car, relationship, friends..just everything. A lot has had an impact on me. I have learned so much about me and the people around me. I have learned to except that people change..sometimes I need to let it go..sometimes i need to let them go. I just know what I want..and I can't lose sight of my dreams and ambitions. I know I have alot going for me and I dont need anything standing in my way. Well I have skipped around alot on what I'm talking about, but I had alot to say. Things have just taught me more about myself and what I want and need. One thing I will never ever forget from everything is to never let ur friends get away from you. They will be there through everything even though a guy may not be. Brittany Blits has been here for me through alot of tough shit (not just reltaionship stuff) and has NEVER once left my side. Ive learned that Brittany is the best friend I will ever have and I wont compramise our friendship for anything. She really makes up the other half of me. I can't explain it..but I know I wouldnt have made it without her. I wouldnt be the same person if she havnt of befriended me. Me n Britt have went through so much together and I just can't imagine my life without her now. I feel kinda better by saying everything that I have through this entry. But im leaving now. It was nice to write again.

yeah..its our anniversary and i love him? everything is perfect and i don't remeber ever being happier than this. im so high on life when hes with me that i never want him to leave. life gets so lonely when hes gone..except when britts here or course:) ha well..tonys ganna be back down here in a minute. I just needed to write down my feelings or i was ganna explode. tony is literally EVERYTHING to me and i couldn't imagine my life without him. he makes me feel like i can flyy.

so yeah..me n the baby are back together. We have been for a few days now and im just about the happiest chick in the entire world. Tony's everything to me and Im so glad things have worked out. Maybe thats what we needed..to really see what eachother meant. idk..things are going great and im sooo in love:)

So, the school year is coming to an end in less then a month. Next year is ganna be my LAST YEAR OF HIGHSCHOOL. That's scary to think about. After this..im in the real world. I wish all the seniors this year the best of luck. This summer's ganna be a KICK ASS summer. Im stoked for the sun, time off, parties, road trips, my new pool and summer looove. Who knows what these 2 months will do to me? Im ganna be ok. I know I am. I can do this. No matter what happens..My summers ganna be AWESOME. Tony's coming over after he gets out of work today to "talk" or whatever. Im not quite sue whats ganna go on, but Im sure whatever it is..I can handle it. Tony had been the love of my life for over 2 years and I won't stop loving him, but i can force myself to move on...if its something I HAVE to do. oh and umm Brittany is my best friend? haha We don everything together. She's over EVERYDAY and everything I do or everywhere I go..she goes too. It's been this way for like months and im not annoyed? Usually I get annoyed with people when I spend too much time with them..but not with Britt. We were just talking about that today..she agrees? hmm Everyday is a blast because of her. mmmk bye ♥

im trying to make it. i know i can do it. i was doing fine..until i broke down. until he called, texted and begged. i broke down. and now im let down again. i gotta stick to what im doing. i gotta keep going..i gotta do it for me. i gotta worry about myself. not worry about him and what hes doing. focus on me..and what i need to make it.

I mean every word. This explains everything. I didn't mean it When I said I didn't love you so I should have held on tight I never should've let you go I didn't know nothing I was stupid I was foolish I was lying to myself I couldn't have fathomed that I would ever Be without your love Never imagined I'd be Sitting here beside myself 'Cause I didn't know you 'Cause I didn't know me But I thought I knew everything I never felt The feeling that I'm feeling Now that I don't Hear your voice Or have your touch and kiss your lips Cause I don't have a choice Oh, what I wouldn't give To have you lying by my side Right here, 'cause baby When you left I lost a part of me It's still so hard to believe Come back baby please, 'cause We belong together Who else am I gonna lean on When times get rough Who's gonna talk to me on the phone Till the sun comes up Who's gonna take your place There ain't nobody better Oh baby, baby We belong together I can't sleep at night When you are on my mind Bobby Womack's on the radio Singing to me 'If you think you're lonely now' Wait a minute This is too deep, too deep I gotta change the station So I turn the dial Trying to catch a break And then I hear Babyface I only think of you And it's breaking my heart I'm trying to keep it together But I'm falling apart I'm feeling all out of my element I'm throwing things Crying Trying to figure out Where the hell I went wrong The pain reflected in this song Ain't even half of what I'm feeling inside I need you Need you back in my life baby

everything still sucks. im dieing inside. nothing seems to be getting better. i cant take this anymore. ugh.

its over..everything has gone to shit. i feel dead.

ok so me and tony had our 2 year and 1 month anniversary a couple days ago so that was cool. Everything is going pretty well with us right now as to we had some issues a little bit ago(knock on wood). and hmm, TIFFANY AND BLITSY ARE MY BESTEST FRIENDS AND I HEART THEM TO DEATHHH! We have gotten extremly close and Im loving it so much. We go to alot of places, hang out all the time. Idk, they understand me and I just love hangin outt with them. Ive also been getting really close to my moley!! haha I LOVE EMLIYY!! we've done alot together too and we've also been friends sence like umm..elementary? so its awesome that we have been haning out more!! what else..umm Im passing school thank god. Im doing really good this year. umm OMG HOW COULD I FORGET!! I got my lisence and a car. Im loving the freedom. I go everywhere now. Im so happy. My mommy and daddy are the bestest! I took dan to get his tounge pierced. It looked so easy to do and idk..i kinda want mine done now? i really like it. hmm nothing much else. tony took me out like 5 times this week. the little brat is spoiling me..and i love it:) haha love love love love getting spoiled. he loves it though! well, im really living life to the fullest now. Im hangin outt with more people, havin a blast, goin places, getting to know myself better. I have realized so much about me and what I want in a friendship and relationship. NO LIARS!!! SOMEONE I CAN TRUST!!! SOMEONE WHO WONT LET ME DOWN!! sOMEONE I CAN LAUGH WITH!!! I have truly found that it my friends and in my boyfriend and nothing could make me happier. Oh and ive deffinetly realized that life isnt worth living if you dont have the best of friends to share it with. I have the bestest life now thanks to them x333 hmm im outt. i think im going to a movie tonight. not too sure yet.

computers been broke. same shit has been going on. i love tiffany and blits with all my ♥!!

hmm so it was nice. nothing too special. exchanged some gifts, played some mario, made out most of the night:) haha good kisses lemme tell you x33 my mom had an appointment to look at a car i might be getter at 5:30 today. Im excited. I cant wait to be driving around in my own car. nothing much else so keep writing about. idk why i still have this thing. i guess i just have alot of memories that i cant just let go. over all i made like $60 in valentines day, plus tonys presents:) hmmm hes a good man oh yes he is. im deffiently babbling. i feel bad for stephanie..she got the earings that steve gave her for valentines stolen out of her purse while she was in gym. stupid sluts who cant keep there hands off other peoples shit should be smackkked. hmm im done now. bye:)

Well the dance was fun last night. It was Tony & I, Jeff & Emily and Steve & Stephanie. We got tons of pictures and we all looked great. The dance got alittle boring so we left kinda early and went to Dennys? haha It was some good eaten though. Em & Steph spent the night and we had breakfast in the morning. And stephanie left because her mom, and emily left to grab clothes and shower and then shes coming back!!:) Things have been looking up latly. Tony & I have been Great. Friends have been Better and idk..things have been just looking bright latly which is so good. I got $100 for my report card which $40 of it went to chip in for my dress. Im glad Im doing good in school. I need to do good. Today is superbowl sunday which is also me and Tonys 1 Year and 11 month anniversary. I'm pretty pumped. We have never even broken up either. 1 Year and 11 months straight. Im excited for our 2 year anniversary. Hes coming over around 3. Well..Im leaving. Write again some other time.

BLAHHH. umm i was siging up for my roadtest and i thought it would take about a month to get my app. but it gave me a date for like the 9th, 14th, and the 21st and my mom was like ebing gay about it because she wants me to do it in march and idk we were yelling at eachother and idk im so mad right now! and during the whole thing..tony kept fucking calling me and beeping in MILLIONS of times..and then he started calling my house phone(cuz i was on my cell with my mom not picking up his call) so i picked it up and said ito the phone "im on the phone..ill call you back" and then hung up and then he kept calling and calling so that was making me mad. when you have a bitching mother on the phone and every five seconds theres a fucking beep in your ear cuz hes calling you..it would get kinda annoying. so then my mom just hung up on me. then tony called and by that time i was just pissed and went off on him and now hes mad and hung up on me too! this is fucking greatttttttt.

Well we started new classes today. Instead of psychology and sociology, I have Photography and Participation in Goverenment(PIG). I think Im ganna do ok in it, and plus..I actually know some people in both of them. Ashley, Mike Cobb and Jeni T are in PIG with me and Ginny, Britt and Ashley are in Photo with me. Hopefully I can keep up with everything and Continue to do well. Things lately have been a big bummer. I'm not feeling like myself and am not sure how to talk to people about it. I feel as if they wont understand or wont give a shit. I have to learn more about the people I associate with, so I can decide if they are trustworthy or not. It just feels like so many people in my life are drifting & changing, but at the same time Im getting so many new friends(whom I am becoming increadibly close with) and want to continue being close with. idk..sweet 16 isnt turning out to be so sweet.

everying is getting worse. god, i feel so down all the time. I basically just sat around all weekend moping. I feel like nothing will be the same. I feel like I can't even talk to my dad about any of this because everytime I do..I cry. and i cant cry in front of my dad..its hard to explain, but i know it will make everything worse. and i feel like im losing people that I can really talk to although Im gaining many as well. It's getting hard and confusing. Im begining to really think about who I can trust. My mom came up to me today(sunday) and shes like, "hunnie are you ok..you have been laying around hardly even cracking a smile" and do you know what I said..I simply said, "mom, I'm fine" and walked away with tears. I dont know who to turn to anymore. I cant talk to anyone. Well im ganna get going..schools tomorrow for the first time in more than a week and I guess I should get a good night sleep. Schools making everything worse too. It's hard keeping my Grades up, but I know I have to keep trying because so far..Ive been doing well and thats about the only Thing good right now.

♥ Favorites ♥ food- Sherrys french toast and stramboli. color- Black and Brown name- Jackie and Charlotte friend- Stephanie, Tiffany, Emily, Katie, Sarah, Ashley, Britt, Ginny and Tony. memory- My last family vacation ill ever have. playground equiptment- Swings. song- I Like alot so i dont really know flavor of candy- Strawberry or Grape fruit- Strawberries and Pears veggie- Corn and Pee's soda- Shirly Temple fruit drink- orange juice shoe you have- all my flip flops number- 5 screen name you've had- xBritt4ny 4nnEx pattern- polka dots book- Sisterhood of Traveling pants and the Notebook. magazine- I have a bunch. shirt- hmm i like my old navy sweaters. pair of pants- the 2 that i got from fashion bug. dog breed- St. Bernard and Black Labs. I Love Big dogs..they're better to cuddle with. store- American Eagle, Bon-Ton/JC Penny accessory- oh god I have a million purses hair color- Brunnett family member- A year ago I would have said my mom..but now, I cant chose between her and my dad. season- deffinetly summer day of the year- Christmas Day month- June, July, August day of the week- Friday night. holiday- Chrsitmas time of day- on saturdays around 1 and on weekdays..after 2:30. imaginary friend- never had one snack- fudgies sport- cheerleading band- Graham Colton and The Click Five. singer- Billy Curington, Britney Spears. brand of clothing- what evers comfy. probly old navy though. brand of shoes- nike all the way. jewelry- my dimond ring from tony and my dads class ring that i havent took off sence the day i got it. subject in school- English and Sociology friends parents- Jordans mom radio station- Wild 104 weather- anything but cold/snowy/rainy ♥ Current ♥ shirt- White American Eagle Sweatshirt. pair of pants- Black old navy Sweats. shoes- if i was wearing shows, id be wearing my white nikes with the blue check. socks- white joe boxer ankle socks. makeup- Eyeliner & Mascara hairstyle- Low sloppy Bun. chair you're sitting in- My computer chair I got from olums. food you're eating- I just had subway. song you're listening to- I was just listening to Billy Currington-Must be doing something right, but now its over. friend you're talking to- Dan boyfriend- Anthony James Knopick and May I add that Out 2 Year anniversary is coming up in about a month. Bestfriend- I have a Few. people at home- Gary, My mom and My brother. place you're at- My house in the Basement. AIM screenname- xBritt4ny 4nnEx movie you're watching- I watched 'Stepmom' alittle earlier. bladder- hmm full. I have to go. pet nearest to you- Buddy (my lab/shepard mix.) book nearest to you- Teen Depression (it was for my research paper in psychology.)

my dad just informed me that him and his girlfriend broke up and i dont know how to deal with it. I feel so bad for him. Now hes alone all over again. With all the shit that happened last time, i dont know what im ganna do. i loved sherry. i cared about her so much..and i cared about justin just like a brother. we had some really good times and hearing my dad cry that its over..kills me inside. me and my dad cried together and it killed me every second. im scared my dads ganna be depressed and alone, bring home a ton of girls, bring home someone i dont like, or bring someone else home that i like and they break up and im hurt again. this is like going through everything all over again and i hate it. i care about my dad so much and it thought him with sherry and justin made him a better father to me and zack. he seemed happy and nice and we have never gotten along better, and now its gone. i really dont know how to deal with all this..and on top of everything..me n tony are having problems. things are getting so hard. one thing is piling on top of the other:(

first the plan was to save as much money up as i could and in the spring my mom would match whatever i had and help buy me a car. well..over the weekend my mom said that she is proud of me for putting every pay check away in the bank and not taking out a single cent and that she wants me to have a good car and not run out and buy the first thing I see because i just want a car really bad. so she said shes ganna buy me a car:):):) she said She will put everything in my name so its MY car. I have to pay for gas and insurence though. and umm..when im 18 im giving that car to my brother and then my moms ganna match whatever i have then and help buy me a car:) im so excited. my mom told me i should sign up for my road test in february. and umm im a wicked good driver? haha my moms so proud! hehe wow im rambling. im so exctied though!! My daddy and Sarah share a birthday..and guess what..its tomarrow!! goo them! im going to my dads tomorrow to spend the night then home on saturday to work then just staying the rest of the weekend at my moms.