I think this is what gets to me... its not the distance, its not that we don't talk as much because of work, its not that I dont have hope, its that I dont think he does. I sit here and try, and try, and try to make things better... I try to call him as much as possible, and I try to just make him happy but I dont think he is happy. It seems like everything Im doing isnt being acknowledged by him. I dont want to be selfish and say "Oh I want something in return" because its not like someone can help if they don't feel the same way... but dammit, its the worst feeling when you think someone doesnt care. I know he CARES, but I just don't know if it's deeper and I do not know what to do. I hate sitting here, without knowing if he's going to stay or not. I would do anything for him but I dont think he sees it. I just wish he would have hope, and would want things to work out instead of trying to push me away any chance he sees because of "distance". Yes, its hard, its so hard... but its not like relationships dont take work. ...What am I saying? "Relationship"? I dont even know what we are. Yes its more than friends, because its on such a higher level, but I just dont know what it is exactly. I just don't think he sees it as a full blown 'relationship'... I dont think he'd call me his girlfriend. I dont know... Its just difficult... I think its so much more different to me... I do think of him as more than a friend... I wouldn't be with anyone else, at all... and when people ask if I have a boyfriend, I do say I am taken... I don't know... Im just a little hurt. I dont want to sound like a baby, but I cant help but be hurt when he tells me some things he feels. I know I should be just open to what he has to say, because its how he FEELS, but I just... I don't know what to do. I don't know what he wants...