gloomy day at the beach... Its weird, Im not that dark it just looks like it haha... Photoshop is fun and makes me look pretty lol She claimed she was a "dead mermaid that washed up on shore" so she had her eyes closed. I love my cousins... :)

Hope you enjoyed my new pictures Lol. Anyway... I talked to my grandma today on the phone for an hour and a half. It was seriously so great to just sit there and have a nice conversation with her. My grandma, along with my grandpa (he passed in '99) have been my "heros" from the very beginning- they taught me so many things while I was younger (I lived with them for a couple years, and both of them basically raised me since my real dad hadn't really been in my life at that time and my mom was always out working to help the financal delima), and have always been there for me and supported me in everything. They are the people I look up to most. I respect them with all I have in me and I give them most of the credit of being the base of my life. Anyway, the conversation was seriously so nice. She, besides Jase, is the only person that I can sit there in complete awe while she tells me a story. The way that she tells her stories, and gives me advice, is just amazing. I miss her so much. And I feel bad that I dont have as much contact with her as I have had in the past. To be honest, its me running from my fears.... the fears that Ill loose her. I dont want to lose her along with my grandpa... She was so depressed after my grandpa passed (more than anyone in the family, understandably), so depressed that she wouldn't even come out for any of the kids' get togethers when she was so family oriented in the past. I now realize that I need to embrase everything in my life... before it all slips out of my hands. Ive made a promise to myself- be more family oriented. I dont want to do this only for myself, but for my little cousins (on both sides of the family.) I know they look up to me and if I just run around with an attitude, I know I wont be a good role model to them. --Ill finish later when I can put words into correct configurations to make sense... Im starting to slip into the REALLY sleepy stange...