Well... my plan of goung to sleep at 10 30 wasnt very successfull and i have a lil more to talk about... well... anyways.. i havent smoked "pot" in 6 days witch is really good for me... i had been getting very very burnt out and it was horrible.. i couldnt ever remember anything.. i was slacking in school horribly... and everything was going bad.. i think i lost my girlfriend over it 2 :( .. and im addicted to smoking ciggs... urg.. i have been smoking for a while.. i was going to stop when my mom stoped buying them for me but it was 2 hard... Im really starting to miss my dad... i hate not being able to tlak to him and play cs with him and paintball with him and hang with him in general... i loved him sooooo much... my mom bitches about him and talks about how mean he was but he was the most awesome guy in the world.. i would give n e thing for him back...i wish i could just hang with him for inleast 1 more day... its been uhh... more then a year sence he past away... ( october 12 2003) and its really starting to kick in alot... i mean i thought i had got past the worst of it but i guess the longer you go without seeing him the more it hurts.. i look at his pic about every day cuz im scared imma forget what he looks like... well enough about him... (getting emotional) Dav3y is the man.. i love to hang with him.... i dunno how me and him stoped hanging out for so long.. it was weird.. but n e ways im glad me and him are hanging out again and i kinda hope that i get on the team not just cuz i love paintball but also so me and him dont stop talking agian...we have alot of fun together... im kinda hopin i go to seneca 2 so i can re join with all my myers middle friends and stuff.. that would be dope... about the amanda issue.. me and her had gone through ALOT together.. now its really cool we can just be friends.. i feel like im avoiding her not cuz i dont like her.. but becuz im scared imma start to like her alot and then its gonna be hard when she moves to arkansas... i mean i like to hang with her but every time i hang with her i like her more and more.... i gues thats why i dont like to talk for to long to her.. not that i dont want to... about my mom... me and my mom have not been getting alot latly... me and her have been yelling at each other constantly.. me and her arnt in a fight right now but i mean its constant.... i wish i could just move so that we would like each other more cuz we wouldnt be stuck in the house with each other all the time.... well im running low on words so i guess imma go to bed... night all and love you guys...